Roll Away Your StoneMature

The following week passed in the same manner as the first day, except we were on the move, we all woke up around lunch time ate, did our sound checks, performed and then drank until the early hours of the morning. But now we were moving on. Spoons and Anthology of Drama were leaving, to be replaced by West coast bands. I was excited to get to California, not only because of the weather but because it was where we had spent a year when we were first signed. It was our second home. We were also attending an awards show taking place in L.A. which everyone was excited for.

I was sitting on the bus couch looking out the window at the cars beside us, they seemed like ants compared to the bus, I pulled my sunglasses over my eyes. My head was not in the mood for sun. The repetition of the tour had begun to make me feel bored, Jack's constant nagging was driving me mad. I couldn't wait to get to L.A. where we would have a hotel and our own rooms. I sat back and lit up a cigarette and slowly inhaled closing my eyes as I did. The bus turned off the highway and Alec our tour manager called down from the wheel.
"We're almost there, it'll be another 20 minutes".
"Thank fuck", Ben groaned from his bunk.
The others let out similar groans from behind their curtains.
"I need to take a dump", Adam said unhappily.
I got off the couch when I heard Adam's voice and put out my cigarette. I went to his bunk and pulled back his curtain before squishing in beside him.
"What's up?", he asked moving onto his side.
I lay on my side aswell, but it didn't make much more room.
"Are you excited?", I whispered.
"Why are we whispering?".
"Are you?".
"I guess...".
"Me too", I smiled.
"That's good", he said looking confused.
"We haven't been in California for ages", I said still smiling, "I can't wait to go to all the old hang out places".
"Yeah", Adam shrugged, "I'm not too fussed and eh...I'm not sure that Jack would be too enthusiastic about you going to the old haunts".
I stopped smiling and rolled out of the bunk.
"Erin?", he said sticking his head out.
"FUCK OFF!", I yelled back before going into the showerroom, the only room in the bus with a door.
I slammed the door and locked it before sitting on the toilet and putting my head in my hands. The guys were getting more and more frustrating. The closer we got to California the more over protective they became. Jack had been counting my drinks, he watched me take my medication, he didn't let me go anywhere on my own. I took my pills out of the little container I kept in my hoodie and took two of them before moving one of the wall pieces to get my bottle of vodka, my one remaining bottle, the only one Jack hadn't found. I took a mouthful and let it burn the back of my mouth. I wasn't worried about California.

"Hello everyone!", I exclaimed as I stumbled down our bus steps.
Jack followed me with an angry expression. He had kicked our toilet door in after I refused to leave. We had been in California for at least 4 hours before he finally cracked, only to find one empty bottle of vodka and me with my arm down the toilet searching for my dropped pills. I kissed Janey on the head before spotting the Bar on the other side of a busy road. I looked back at Jack to see him in some sort of deep discussion with Alec, I kicked off my flip flops and started running.
"ERIN!", I heard Janey call.
"ERIN!", Adam's voice followed.
I looked over my shoulder and couldn't help but laugh, then I hit something and fell back.
"Ow", I groaned as I lay on the dusty ground.
I heard footsteps run up behind me and looked up to see Lee and Adam looking down at me.
"Are you ok?", Lee asked.
"Someone punched me", I replied trying to sit back up.
"Nobody punched you", Adam sighed helping me up, "you ran into a fence".
As I stood up I noticed the metal fence in front of me. I wrapped my fingers through it and pouted.
"You should probably just go back", I heard Adam tell Lee, then his voice was beside me.
I looked to the side and saw him staring into my eyes.
"Just wanted a drink", I said still pouting like a child.
"I think you've had enough", he sighed.
I didn't answer just stayed staring at him.
"Come on lets get something to eat", he said wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
"Yoghurt", I said quietly.
He laughed under his breath.
"Ok if that's what you want".

I was embarrassed as I stepped down from the bus the next day. I kept my head low as I made my way towards Hot Pink's bus. I knocked on their door and opened it.
"Janey?", I called.
"Hey Erin", Jess said sticking his head out from a bunk, "she's just showering".
"Oh, that's ok then", I said going to leave.
"You need anything?".
"Well, eh our showerroom is indisposed, because we don' have a door", I replied blushing, "so I just need to borrow a shower".
"You could ask After Hours?", he suggested smiling.
I returned the smile and nodded before leaving and closing their door. As I walked towards the After Hours bus I felt my heart thump, great now I had to turn up at my absolute favourite band's bus and ask them a favour after acting like a total idiot. I got to their door but before I could knock it swung open. I jumped back.
"Oh hey Erin", it was Harry, "you ok?".
"Our shower is broken and Janey is using hers so...".
"Yeah sure work away", he said before I finished, "Ryan is in there but he's still asleep so ignore him".
"Ok thanks", I smiled awkwardly.
He stepped down and walked towards the tent set up to house our breakfast. I went into their bus, feeling slightly uncomfortable as I wandered past Ryan sleeping in his bunk to their shower. I locked the door behind me and turned on the water. I hummed quietly to myself as it poured around me, refreshing me, I wasn't going to drink anymore, I decided to myself, a shower epiphany, I had them everyday, I knew it was just me trying to make myself feel better. Yesterday I wasn't going to eat meat anymore, last week I was going to quit smoking. I ate two burgers, I was craving another smoke right now. I turned off the shower before I made myself feel too down, I dried myself and dressed, I tied my soaking hair up on top of my head and put my feet back into my flip flop. I unlocked the door and opened it whistling absentmindedly.
I jumped, letting out a little scream. I saw Ryan standing in the middle of the bunks, in his boxers. I couldn't stop staring, stop staring, no I couldn't.
"Eh", I said averting my eyes, "Jack broke our...well technically it's my fault cause I wouldn't get out and you know...I...Harry said it was ok".
I blushed slightly, stuttering was so cool.
"It's no problem", Ryan smiled, "you want some coffee?".
"Sure", I returned the smile and followed him to their little bus kitchen.
"Sit down make yourself comfortable", he said gesturing to the couch.
I sat down slowly, feeling awkward. Their bus was so much cleaner than ours and I instantly felt like a pig.
"Your bus is so clean", I sighed.
"It wasn't always", Ryan laughed handing me a mug, "it's taken 3 years of touring to get it this clean".
He sat down on the couch too and lit up a cigarette.
"Want one?", he said holding the packet towards me.
"Yes please", I said taking one.
I leaned towards him as he lit it, being closer to him felt weird and I wanted to sit back. He lit it and I took a long drag closing my eyes as I did.
"Such a disgusting habit", I laughed as I exhaled.
"Tell me about it", he replied, the cigarette hanging off the side of his mouth.
We sat in silence, smoking our cigarettes, me taking occasional sips of my coffee.
"I..", we both started at the same time, we stopped and laughed.
"Go ahead", he said smiling.
I turned my body to face him.
"I think your band is incredible", I said with a serious expression, "you guys are amazing, like amazing".
"Thanks", he said blushing a little.
I didn't think he'd be embarrassed by that, to me it seemed obvious that he was the singer of the greatest band in existence.
"That was probably a bit weird of me", I looked away, "you probably hear that all the time from crazed fans".
"Actually no", he laughed running his hand through his messy black hair, "I get more of "oh my god I love you! I wanna marry you!", and so on".
I laughed at his impression of the fan girls. He smiled back at me.
"At least they wanna marry you", I said, "I get "man you're so hot" and that's about it".
"Hey, at least we know we've got some potential booty calls out there", he suggested sitting back, "I was going to say though, I love watching you guys perform".
I was speechless, my mouth dried up. He laughed at my expression and put his finger under my chin pushing my mouth closed, I hadn't even realised it was open.
"W-what?", I stammered.
"Yeah", he nodded, he mimicked my voice, "you guys are amazing".
"Wow", I said in shock, "thank you, so much".
He patted my shoulder and smiled. I took another long drag, staring into space, unable to believe that my idol had complimented my band.
"This is the first time we've had a conversation, well a proper one", he said suddenly.
"Yeah, I mean usually everyone is so busy during the day and know you're usually quite intoxicated later on", he added a bit awkwardly.
I suddenly felt angry, angry at this guy who was judging me. Then I was angry at myself, for feeling angry at him.
"I don't mean to offend you", he said quickly.
"Is Jack here or something?", I said dangerously, I stood up quickly, "is this an intervention? Cause really I don't think I need a fucking intervention...".
"It's not an intervention", he said kindly, "I just, I know how hard it can be, I used to have major problems and I'd hate to see for you to go down the same road".
"Yeah, well I don't have any problems", I said, "thanks for the coffee, I'm going to something".
I put the mug down by the sink and began to walk away, more annoyed that I couldn't think of anything interesting I had to do.
"Erin", he said.
My heart, fluttered, he said my name. Snap out of it, you're annoyed remember?
"If you need to talk, don't be afraid to", he continued, "I'll always be here, and sober enough to listen".
I heard the smile in his voice at the sober comment and I smiled a little myself, I turned back to face him.
"Thanks", I smiled.

The End

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