"Once you decide what you want to do in life you will have to face the consequences'" was the famous line my mum always spoke when she was trying to decide my fate. She figured that she wanted me to meet this handsome guy that would never even dream of hurting me (in any endeavours.) What a sad little life I live, still being lectured about decisions that I would make in my life, by my own mother after fifteen years. Surely she couldn't carry on for another five could she?
For some reason I felt secluded from everybody else in the world. My life evolves around mum most of the time so I guess that was the reason but there was something else that I couldn’t quite bring myself to terms with…This is the daily routine for me every single day. Wake up, walk downstairs and let my mother lecture me for about twenty minutes. She says, “you have to be ready darling, for the outside world. Meet a handsome guy that will do anything for you and he will show you the way.” What a total loony!
All of this started when I was about seven years old and dad left us for some other woman and kids. She started crying in the kitchen, taking sleeping pills (too many) and she started discussing what dad had done to the Samaritans; they never really helped her, they just said “he’ll be back soon.” Ha yes he’ll be back (what a joke!)
It’s always been just us on our own (with no help at all) since that day and I wasn’t really bothered at all. I loved the fact that mum wasn’t getting hurt by stupid boyfriends! With all my mum’s history you would have thought that she hated men but she didn’t, she thought they were the best thing on this earth.