Ok this isn't a story as such, but well I supose it is in one sense, but it was all i could write yesterday.

This morning I went for my first ever M.R.I scan. I sat in the waiting room with my mother, for what felt like a age, but was really only a few minutes.

My mind was in over drive, anxious, questioning and wondering. I was unconsciously looking for a downside, although I try to remain as positive as possible. I am normally such a positive happy up beat kinda person.

I went in to the scan room, where the nurse told me to lay on the table. I had a weird kinda headset contraption put on, that not only held my head in place but it had a mirror attached to it. Just eye level so that I could see down the length of the room.

I closed my eyes as the bed I was on moved back into the centre of the scanner.

A huge half circle affair, that when started made a noise that un-similar to a aircraft engine. I had music on, playing into my ears through the headset thankfully and I closed my eyes and tried to think of positive thoughts.

All the things that I have done and hope to again, plus a few new ones thrown in. The places that I have visited, and the people that I love so dearly.

My daughter who is growing, changing everyday. She is beautifull. She is a mini version of me. She amazes me with her humour and bright out look on life. She is growing up so quickly that sometimes I feel I am loosing her everyday, but then doesn’t every mother feel that at some point.

My family who if hadn’t have been around when I was ill, I really don’t know what I would have done without them. I mother saw me at my lowest moments. She saw me through it all.

My father who I think felt helpless, his daughter so strong, who has such a passion for living life. Climbing, diving, running and her writing, along with my dedication to my daughter. And then I couldn’t even walk a few paces without falling over. I know at times they annoyed me, as they fussed and did their best to make things easier for me. But I am eternally grateful for everything.

As I lay there I thought of my man, my soldier who I haven’t met yet, but already love so much with my heart and soul. His passion for his dogs, the enthusiasm I can hear in his voice when he talks about them. And he knows so much stuff, about everything and all sorts. He amazes me like no one else has done before.  I am looking forward to our conversations, when we are sat on the settee, and most of all is seeing him laugh, as he is so so funny too. I thought of the things that have planned, our many conversations on the phone. How he so makes me laugh, makes me smile, and my hopes for all that we hold. I can’t wait to see him. I’m counting down the weeks till he gets home.

Simple things please me, like a warm sunny day, time spent with friends and family. Playing with the dog and my daughter.

There is far too many to list.

And so many more to come. Memories to be made from future events.

But there is so many more happy times to come. I was ill for a reason, to slow down, catch my breath.

So many good things have come out of it.

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