My Cricket, I love you so much . I had no idea I was that to you.
I look back on a few years ago, and I remember how you were. Your smiles were few and far between. No, I did not understand. I didn't even know what I was doing for you. I just felt this large gap between us, and for my own sake, I had to bridge it.
I just wanted to know you, and for you to know me. Due to the stringent living arrangements, I was under the impression that I was an intruder to the family, the half-blood that was never meant to be. Sometimes, I still feel that way. I know I'm woefully wrong, and that I'm stupid to feel like that.
To be even more honest, when I was younger, I wanted nothing more than to be you. You got to live with dad and you two had such a bond that I could never dream of having. You got to see everyone more than I did, and you had much more freedom than me.
I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes I hated you for it. I try my best to repress the feelings, and usually I'm very successful at it. Family is the epitome of belonging and completeness. We're only as strong as our weakest link, and I didn't want to be that link.
So when I talked to you, it was more to save myself. But I'm so glad that I was doing much much more.
I read this for the first time today, and I cried like a baby. I was reminded of what the bond of sisterhood is, and how strong it is. I was reminded of how strong we are, and that together we can do anything.
You've no idea what it means to me to be your sun for you. And you ought to know that you are singularly the most important person in my life. Being your sister is the highest honor, and I couldn't dream of trading it for anything.
When you leave for school, I'm not sure what I'll do with myself. I will stay strong, because the alternative isn't very appealing. But that's guaranteed to be easier said than done.
Skype will be our saving grace.
My dearest beloved, my Cricket; I love you with my whole.