The day that you got off the bus and came into to my arms was the happiest day of my life. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me and they still didn’t move fast enough. The days that you were gone where the longest days. The not knowing and not wanting to know, all mixed up into one emotion. The trying to stay strong for you while you did your job. Putting on the smiles were hard. But they weren’t as hard as what you went through.
The first time that I hugged you I could tell that something was different. It was as if you were afraid to be touched by anyone, but you still embraced me and I will always thank you for that. As the days and night of you being home added up, I could see that you had changed. The other wives, always said that you would come back different, that you would need time, and that I would have to learn to deal with that. But I never believed them, you always sounded the same when you called and your letters seemed as if you spoke the words themselves. But as the darkness moves across the land, I now understand better what the other wives meant. I see you stare out into the yard, as if looking for something; something that you know in your heart, will never come. I see it in your eyes when I walk up to you, you know what I am thinking and asking. You turn away not wanting to hurt me with the look that you give, but I have seen it and know it all too well.
I want to know what happen to you over there and what it is that you saw. But I know better; you know that I won’t ask. I know it is something that I could never understand without having been there. The memories of those months haunt you, the things that you saw. Some nights I can hear your silent cries coming from your study when you remember the people that weren’t as lucky as you. Your study has become your place of solitude, with the walls being the ears that you need and the desk being the shoulder to cry on. I only wish that I could be the ears and shoulder that you need but I know it is not something you wish to share with me and I understand. But know that nothing can keep me from loving you.
She kissed the letter and left it on his desk for when he came home from work.