The Doorkeeper's existential musings were interrupted by the sudden arrival of a rather peculiar-looking being. One minute, there was nothing there, and the next, resting on top of the Wheel of Life, there was a feathery, wispy blue creature, about two feet high and composed largely of a distended pot-belly.
"Yeah, wha' you want?" It barked in an emphysemic voice that put the Doorkeeper in mind of an English construction site worker.
"I umm...the Wheel of Life stopped." He pointed to where the figure was sitting.
It looked down disinterestedly,
"Yeah? wha' you want me to do about it?" He spat sardonically.
The Doorkeeper wasn't quite sure how to respond.
Seeing this, the figure grew more impatient,
"Look, you got your basic options: I can make you young and attractive; I can make that special someone fall in love with you, or I can...and this is strictly under the table...make a certain someone let themselves go..." He pursed his lips into a frown and shrugged, darting his eyes sideway in the Italian-mafia style of discussing something illicit. "What's it to be?"
"I'm not sure what those have to do with..." The Doorkeeper began, but was interrupted again.
"Look pal, I don't have all day, and I don't do mechanical things, so forget about this wheel of yours. Make up your mind, or I'm off, and i'm billing you for time sp...!"
The creature cut off mid-sentence as it noticed what it was sitting on.
"Bloody 'ell! You haven't gone and broken the bloody Wheel of Life, have you?"
"I didn't break it, it just...stopped."
"Stopped? Stopped, he says...oh yeah, Wheels of Life stop every day, we just put up another. Easy as pie, that is..." The creature lamented sarcastically as it circumnavigated the stationary wheel.
The Doorkeeper dared not move, lest the wheel took off again.
"... got the things practically growing on trees, it's not as if it's the ONLY BLOODY WHEEL OF ITS KIND IN EXISTENCE!"
The creature rounded on the Doorkeeper with a vehemence that in anyone else would be alarming bordering on terrifying. From it, however, it just served to underline the absurdity of its appearance and even under the circumstances the Doorkeeper had to suppress a laugh as it beat him around the shins with all the force of an irate goldfish.
"How's a Love-God meant to go about his business when halfwits like you go screwing with the passage of time?!" It demanded.