I push my back against the wall and hold my breath. I'm covered in a film of sweat, it's running down my arms and pooling in the fingertips of my leather gloves. I'm anxious, nervous, I'm worried. The hunter becomes the hunted, for the first time in a long time I'm actually scared. I count to thirty in my head, still holding my breath. I'm waiting for a sign, any sign. A sign that someone is in there, and that someone is still alive. my Patience pays of.
I hear a sound, a sound like the noise sticky tape makes when it's pulled from the reel. Thank you Mr Hobart thank you. His bad house keeping had done me a massive favor, maybe even saved my life. The sound i heard must of been a foot lifting up, from a filth covered sticky floor tile. Instincts took over, i crouched low to make myself a smaller target. anticipating a sudden attack.
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It's a shame its just the two of us adding posts, i think if other people were to get involved the story has a lot of potential. not that im displeased with the direction its taken."
Can I follow? - give me a few hours and I'll add"
his neighbour heard a noise,
its a half naked child Hobart was abusing"
Mostly, I think grammar is hard to learn in an academic way. The best way is to read an awful lot, and examine the way writers put things as you read, thinking about how and why they've written it like that. It gets easier with practice. I try to do this myself.
Not sure I could correct an entire book (don't have the skills required) - although lots here will offer pointers.
Like lots of people I'm time poor. Unfortunately not cash rich tho lol.
Thanks bfd :D"
But ideas and plot great - interesting and I'm enjoying reading it :D"