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What's in the bathroom?

I stare into the darkness, hoping my eyes will adjust. Hoping to see who, or what is in there. My eyes are drawn to a small area of tiles just in view, for a second i couldn't work out why these tiles had captured my attention, then it hit me. The tiles are clean, the only clean tiles in sight, in fact the only clean anything in sight.

why would they be clean? would it, by any chance of been blood that had been cleaned up? Hobart's blood? If thats the case then I'm guessing that Hobart's body is in the bathroom. This raises another more important question. How did it get there? I know that me and Mr Hobart were alone, i checked the place thoroughly. Dead men can't walk, and they wouldn't wipe their blood up after them. Especially Hobart, it looked like he hadn't cleaned the flat since his wife left him, eight years ago. So how the hell did he get there? he was such a skank, I'd be surprised if he knew the way to the bathroom.

I push my back against the wall and hold my breath. I'm covered in a film of sweat, it's running down my arms and pooling in the fingertips of my leather gloves. I'm anxious, nervous, I'm worried. The hunter becomes the hunted, for the first time in a long time I'm actually scared. I count to thirty in my head, still holding my breath. I'm waiting for a sign, any sign. A sign that someone is in there, and that someone is still alive. my Patience pays of.

I hear a sound, a sound like the noise sticky tape makes when it's pulled from the reel. Thank you Mr Hobart thank you. His bad house keeping had done me a massive favor, maybe even saved my life. The sound i heard must of been a foot lifting up, from a filth covered sticky floor tile. Instincts took over, i crouched low to make myself a smaller target. anticipating a sudden attack.

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9 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS

protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom ":) got you."
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for bfd "sorry that was not the plot. just some ideas one for each new branch. front door closes as neighbour comes in. the noise is a small child, or you enter the bathroom and find a false wall. etc. didnt even think about it as a plot just thought if people have ideas they might write a branch"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for bfd "when did i????"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "argh - don't give the plot away! ;)"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for bfd "there's a false wall in the bathroom,
his neighbour heard a noise,
its a half naked child Hobart was abusing
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Thanks! Lol but if I was that great I would be a published writer already. We're all learning here. Yeah, I'd love to do a course. Maybe I should look into that too - it's a good idea.
Mostly, I think grammar is hard to learn in an academic way. The best way is to read an awful lot, and examine the way writers put things as you read, thinking about how and why they've written it like that. It gets easier with practice. I try to do this myself.
Not sure I could correct an entire book (don't have the skills required) - although lots here will offer pointers.
Like lots of people I'm time poor. Unfortunately not cash rich tho lol.
Thanks bfd :D
"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for bfd "Thanks for the advice seldom, really appreciate it. talk about beginners mistakes. lol! i just get so involved i forget spelling, punctuation and grammer. The most annoying part, is that my stories pretty much suck when i read chapters like yours. you can tell straight away that you know what you are doing. i'm going to look into a creative writing course. you put me to shame. i'm in the process off writing a book based on my experiances as a doorman/ bouncer. it would be great if you could find the time to read what i have written, correct mistakes and add your own ideas. obviously when it's published and is a number 1 best seller it will be co-written by the both of us!"
protagonize: author profile thumbnail for seldom "Oops sorry - I mean bfd. This is a fun story - I enjoyed adding. :D"

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