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...e asks. i hand him the tablets and the water, "you do know you're dead?" i ask him. "if I'm dead then why am i sitting here drinking a glass of water?" he replies. i don't know what to say to him, I'm staring at his chest when he takes another drink. "look, there" i point to the whole in his chest where the bullet entered. There is water dribbling out down his front. "Oh, i guess you could be right" he sighs, "that shouldn't happen." i go to the bathroom and fetch the shaving mirror from the bracket on the wall. "Look" i tell him "there is a hole in your head as well." He studies the bullet wound for a few minutes, "well i never" he exclaims. "did you know i saw a white light, i was walking to wards it and then it disappeared. The next thing, i have a splitting headache and I'm sitting here." A white light? now i don't believe in god or heaven and i don't believe in no white light. what Hobart saw was probably the flash from my gun. "Why?" he asks,"why did you do this?"
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Taylos









It's a shame its just the two of us adding posts, i think if other people were to get involved the story has a lot of potential. not that im displeased with the direction its taken."
Can I follow? - give me a few hours and I'll add"
his neighbour heard a noise,
its a half naked child Hobart was abusing"
Mostly, I think grammar is hard to learn in an academic way. The best way is to read an awful lot, and examine the way writers put things as you read, thinking about how and why they've written it like that. It gets easier with practice. I try to do this myself.
Not sure I could correct an entire book (don't have the skills required) - although lots here will offer pointers.
Like lots of people I'm time poor. Unfortunately not cash rich tho lol.
Thanks bfd :D"
But ideas and plot great - interesting and I'm enjoying reading it :D"