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...e asks. i hand him the tablets and the water, "you do know you're dead?" i ask him. "if I'm dead then why am i sitting here drinking a glass of water?" he replies. i don't know what to say to him, I'm staring at his chest when he takes another drink. "look, there" i point to the whole in his chest where the bullet entered. There is water dribbling out down his front. "Oh, i guess you could be right" he sighs, "that shouldn't happen." i go to the bathroom and fetch the shaving mirror from the bracket on the wall. "Look" i tell him "there is a hole in your head as well." He studies the bullet wound for a few minutes, "well i never"  he exclaims. "did you know i saw a white light, i was walking to wards it and then it disappeared. The next thing, i have a splitting headache and I'm sitting here." A white light? now i don't believe in god or heaven and i don't believe in no white light. what Hobart saw was probably the flash from my gun. "Why?" he asks,"why did you do this?" 

Your ex-wife

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17 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS

Just Chatting
seldom "Yep bfd. I've been meaning to continue but I kind of ended up with so much going on. Will add another branch - have been thinking about it. A good way to get people to add to stuff is of course to add to other's stories - get yourself known and all that. :D I have been adding like crazy, both on stories I added and other's. Think now a lot of people know who I am."
Just Chatting
surreal78 "It happens - people tend to get distracted easily. Easiest way to generate some interest is to post something fresh in the story, of course. :)"
Just Chatting
bfd "9 days away and no ones added, its depressing."
Just Chatting
bfd "don't all cold blooded hitmen have a sensitive side?????"
Just Chatting
bfd "great chapter, really like the first paragraph. i love to read a bit of violence."
Just Chatting
bfd "i'm sure nick will tell us if we are out of line."
Just Chatting
seldom "Hey bfd - lol thanks. Yep could be gruesome. The story isn't tagged as mature though and I think we may be pushing the boundary line on that one already - not sure. Should we ask Nick if it can be changed - or if we're still ok?"
Just Chatting
bfd "I've set you up perfectly to have lots of blood and gore. the sick sweet metallic smell, and the wet slimy stuff i slipped in has to be blood doesn't it??????
It's a shame its just the two of us adding posts, i think if other people were to get involved the story has a lot of potential. not that im displeased with the direction its taken.
"
Just Chatting
bfd "sorry that was not the plot. just some ideas one for each new branch. front door closes as neighbour comes in. the noise is a small child, or you enter the bathroom and find a false wall. etc. didnt even think about it as a plot just thought if people have ideas they might write a branch"
Just Chatting
bfd "when did i????"
Just Chatting
seldom "argh - don't give the plot away! ;)"
Just Chatting
seldom "Thanks! Lol but if I was that great I would be a published writer already. We're all learning here. Yeah, I'd love to do a course. Maybe I should look into that too - it's a good idea.
Mostly, I think grammar is hard to learn in an academic way. The best way is to read an awful lot, and examine the way writers put things as you read, thinking about how and why they've written it like that. It gets easier with practice. I try to do this myself.
Not sure I could correct an entire book (don't have the skills required) - although lots here will offer pointers.
Like lots of people I'm time poor. Unfortunately not cash rich tho lol.
Thanks bfd :D
"
Just Chatting
bfd "Thanks for the advice seldom, really appreciate it. talk about beginners mistakes. lol! i just get so involved i forget spelling, punctuation and grammer. The most annoying part, is that my stories pretty much suck when i read chapters like yours. you can tell straight away that you know what you are doing. i'm going to look into a creative writing course. you put me to shame. i'm in the process off writing a book based on my experiances as a doorman/ bouncer. it would be great if you could find the time to read what i have written, correct mistakes and add your own ideas. obviously when it's published and is a number 1 best seller it will be co-written by the both of us!"

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