Okay so this is only the beginning. I am trying to finish it but wanted to upload the beginning so people can start reading it! :)
Wake up, eat, school, work, constant arguing, sleep, then repeat; this is my daily routine. Always the same, never changing, and uncontrollably boring. But hey, that’s life. Does anything really ever happen besides the same? Every day we wake up waiting for something amazing to happen, when in reality these are just false hopes. Nothing ever happens and our lives are always exactly the same. Sorry to break your spirit but hey I’m just preparing you for reality. So snap out of your little day dream and wake up and step into the real world. Because Hun there are no happy endings. No “and they lived happily ever after” or “love at first sight” just pain and betrayal and hate and death and everything in between. The world is a cruel place, and I would know more than anyone. My life is a roller coaster, and a boring one at that. Most people say they have their “ups and downs” but I just have downs. My roller coaster is just a straight, fast, boring track towards disaster. Not just any disaster, a disaster I consider hell.
But before I get into my disaster of a life, let me introduce myself. My name is Vesta Renee Georgia. I am seventeen years old, I live in Westlington; which is a little town in Wisconsin; and I am a Senior at Monroe Performing Arts High School. To most, this sounds amazing, but for me it is the Devil’s Headquarters. It is found in the deepest pit of despair where anyone who enters immediately turns to dust. Ok well not literally but at times it feels like your soul has. The people here are the cruelest and most heartless people in the whole galaxy. They will crush your spirit until you can feel your heart turning to dust, until you have not even a shred of hope left. This is only the beginning. On top of this I have my parents. Yes, my parents are together, but I’m not sure why. They fight on a daily basis and you can tell they don’t love each other; heck they can’t even tolerate each other. Every day I come home to a new argument about a new, stupid topic. Just last night it was about who feed the dog last. Like why do they care, I think they just want to argue so they find the littlest things to fight about. I don’t understand, why can’t they just divorce already and leave their lives together and start anew. Do they really hate me so much that they wouldn’t do that? They always say that they are staying together to "keep me happy”, but I am the complete opposite. I am annoyed and wish they would just pull the plug and try again, it would be better for all of us.
I am an only child and have no one who would face this disaster with me. My life is lonely; I have only one person to call a friend. She is the only one who talks to me and I don’t know why. I’ve always considered myself a social person, but at my school social has a new meaning. It’s not the “Talk to everyone” social it’s the “go get drunk, party hardy, hope you survive” social. That’s not social, when you are wasted you probably don’t even know who you are talking to, let alone what about. I am not this kind of social and that’s why I have practically no one. Everyone expects you to drink, and smoke, and all these bad things but I won’t do them, they frighten me. So since I don’t drink, or smoke, or have sex on a weekly basis, I am considered a loner. Not on purpose, just when you have little to no friends that’s what they consider you.
“Hi, I am Vesta Renee, and this is the making of experiment 152” I say into the old tape recorder so many years ago. “With experiment 152 I am going to do the impossible, the un-thinkable, the coolest thing ever: time travel. Yes, you heard me right folks, I am going to be the first time traveler ever. Vesta Renee will be a name in history!” I pause the tape and my younger voice freezes and the room falls silent. I was about six when the tape was recorded and all I ever wanted to do was science. I am not the brightest student, but when it comes to science, it just comes naturally. I wanted to be an inventor and be the first time traveler. I love listening to myself at such a young age, it was so much easier then. I did not have a care in the world, I thought I could be anything and everything I wanted to be. Then of course I got into middle school and was bullied for my love of science. 7th grade was when I decided to stop with experiment 152.
Life was too difficult for me to continue, my parents fighting had gotten worse and the bullies had found my weakest spots that would bring me to my lowest. I was labeled the Science Nerd of the school and would hear it everywhere I went. It sucked. I hit play and continue to listen to my younger self laugh and explain experiment 152. I wish that at this time my family had owned a camcorder. That way I could see what experiment 152 looked like those 11 years ago. I no longer have experiment 152. I threw it away after the worst day of 7th grade; The day Anastasia found out about my major crush on the most attractive boy in the world. Okay, so he is not really the MOST attractive but to me he definitely was. His name was Ryder Johnson, he wasn’t the most popular boy in school, but he had lots of friends. He was the right fielder on the middle school baseball team so people definitely knew who he was, but the most popular boys where definitely those on the football team, typical right? So on this day I was talking to my best friend, Charlotte, at lunch. This was the day I decided to tell her about my crush. I told her that she could not tell a soul and I knew she never would, she and I had been best friends since grade school. We met in art class and we used to get in trouble because we would not follow the directions and always drew what we wanted. We spent a lot of time in the timeout corner together and eventually that’s what made us best friends. Charlotte is a pretty blonde with a brunette personality. She may look like she wouldn’t know anything in the world but ask her about history and she will be more than willing to tell you. Now ask her about Math or English, then she goes all blonde on you. Anyway back to the story. So I told her in my best whisper about my mad hard crush on Ryder and she was in total shock, apparently I am good at hiding my emotions… who knew. Well in her state of shock she said “You have a crush on Ryder?” A little louder than she had intended. I shushed her but it was too late. The moment she said that statement was the exact same time Miss Anastasia Darlington walked by and she heard exactly what Charlotte had said. Now Anastasia was the most popular person in school hands down. She was on the cheer leading team and was dating the quarter back of the football team, how typical life really is. Not only was she the most popular girl in school, but she was also my biggest bully. She always found anything to make fun of me. Whether it be my love of silence, my boring hair and eyes, or in this case my middle school crush. She took this opportunity and ran with it. She turned around faster than I thought I girl in 4 inch heels ever could and said, “OMG Vesta, you have a crush on Ryder? That is so cute! I could have never guessed you would like someone like him.” Now, she said this looking right at me, but she said it loudly enough so everyone in the cafeteria could hear her. Everyone automatically burst into laughter at my now not so secret crush. I jumped out of my seat and started running toward the cafeteria doors. Charlotte yelled for me, but I didn’t stop. I heard Anastasia chanting “The Science Nerd and the Baseball Star, sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G.” The laughter turned into screeches of pure joy that slowly tore my heart apart. Still running towards the doors, I saw Ryder sitting at the table right beside them and my cheeks blushed red with embarrassment. I could tell by his face that he was in shock, but there was another emotion on his face. Maybe disgust but didn’t stick around long enough to figure it out. I ran faster than I ever had before and I did not stop running till I found myself on my doorstep. I stopped and looked at my door thinking of an excuse to give my parents for why I was home so early, but I heard them yelling inside so I just walked in and went straight to my room. The first thing I did was grab experiment 152. I looked at it and burst into tears. I was so sick of being known as the Science Nerd, I was so sick of all the bullying this machine had brought me, I was so sick of all of it. So I ran back downstairs right out my back door and throw experiment 152 away, it’s not like I could ever get it to work anyway. I went back inside and my parents had finally noticed my presence. I told them it was an early release day and they had believed it. I went back upstairs and spend the rest of that day in my room, wishing things would have been different.
Now the end of 8th grade year I applied for Monroe’s art program and was so ecstatic when I made it in. The best part was that only one other person that attended my middle school got in and that was Charlotte. I finally had a fresh start and I could make myself whoever I wanted to be. I no longer had to be the Science Nerd, now I could be the Art Nerd. The only down fall was that I would not be able to see Ryder anymore, not like I ever really did see him after that day in 7th grade anyway. He never talked to me or even passed a glance, but I was going to miss passing my glances toward him and all his attractiveness. I started 9th grade and everything was going really well, minus the fact that I still only had one friend. Now this is not a bad thing, but at my school it’s not a good thing. Hence why I am still considered a loner. I was happy with my life, until people started to notice something odd about me. Every piece of art I had done was somehow related to space. My two passions always seemed to find a way to come together and I enjoyed it. Other people thought it was strange though. Halfway through freshman year, I once again had a label that everyone knew me by. My new label was Stargazer, which definitely wasn’t as bad as my middle school one. I actually enjoyed it at first, but then it started to have the same condemnation as Science Nerd had. It became a name used to make fun of me for my love of science not one that would encourage it. Everywhere I go I now hear “Stargazer” but I remember that it could be worse.
My mom yells for me down stairs. Was it time for dinner already? I completely lost track of time. Thinking of the past can be consuming and time wasting. I pause the tape and run down stairs to eat. As I walk into the kitchen I see Charlotte sitting at the table with a plate of food in front of her, I didn’t expect her to be here but this was a usual occasion. Charlotte’s Parents worked a lot so instead of staying at home alone she liked to hang out at my house. Of course, I loved when she was here because I mean hey she is my best friend and also because my parents would never fight while she was here. Charlotte greets me as I walk to my seat beside hers. I accept the greeting but that’s where my part of the conversation ends. You see I am not much of a talker, but Charlotte could talk for hours. I usually just sit quietly while she chats about whatever it is she is always going on about. Whether it be boys or bands or boy bands, usually I just tune her out, but today she mentioned a name I hadn’t heard in years. I freeze for a second and my heart starts to beat. “What did you say?”, I ask Charlotte as my palms start to sweat. “I said that Ryder Johnson is moving back to Westlington.” So I guess there was something I forgot to mention about my crush. In the middle of Freshman Year his family decided to move to Virginia, they were sick of the cold weather. I guess Virginia wasn’t what they were hoping for.
“So wait”, when are they coming back and where did you hear this?”
“Well I heard it from Lexi who heard it from Chandler who heard it from Jenn who heard it from Jackson who heard it from Ryder over text message a few nights ago.”
“Wait, when are they moving back?”
“Sometime later this week, I’m guessing Friday but of course I am not one hundred percent sure.”
“Oh, my goodness… I can’t believe he is moving back to Westlington”
“I know right; I could hardly believe it myself!”
I fell silent, I had put Ryder into the back of my subconscious and never really thought about him anymore. Yet, with the news that he was moving back my heart started to flutter and my stomach filled with butterflies. Man, I sure did not miss this feeling. Ryder is the only one who has ever made me feel this way. I guess my crush did not fade as much as I thought it had. Dang, how could this single name still make me feel this way, it has been four years since I saw him and three years since he left. I do not understand emotions, I really did think I was over him and the little crush I had. But, I guess I was wrong. I am excited that he’s moving back, but I am also upset. On the one hand I get to see him and his beautiful face, but this also means that all the memories of seventh grade will come back. Oh well, just another chapter to add into my suckish story of a life. While I was in my own state of mind, Charlotte was apparently still going on and on about the situation. I missed most of what she had said, but that’s fine. I was done talking about it any way.