Two hours later, I decided to get out the house. I walked straight to her street looking at her house every time I got closer to it and then looking at her window hoping there is a possibility she is in there I stood outside her house and looked at my mobile I had 15 missed calls 10 were off Jade, poor Jade her best friend my girlfriends best girlfriend. I rang her up she answered straight away I could hear crying she wasn’t alone.
“Hello?” she sobbed
“Oh Jade its Kaine”
“Kaine” she paused “I need to see you… I’m at her house please come.”
“I’m outside, her car isn’t here she must be out”
“Kaine don’t do this”
I knocked on Jayla’s door Jade opened it and I shut the phone.
“Come in Kaine”
I walked in and saw Sarah and the barber Max he was comforting her, Jade sat down and I walked in the room.
“Okay so where is she? You can finish the joke now it’s getting silly where she hiding?” I asked no emotion in my face
Jade looked at me with shock on her face.
“Kaine she is gone wake up and realise it she is dead she isn’t coming back!”
“NO! SHE IS COMING BACK SHE IS MY JAYLA SHE SAID SHE LOVED ME SHE HAS TO COME BACK!” I screamed at her “we were in love she wouldn’t just leave me alone I have no-one I have nothing left”
Sarah stood up and hugged me “you have me Kaine we can get through this. It was a bad, bad, bad very bad accident and nobody is to blame I know she loved you and you loved her but you must come to terms with it it’s going to be hard but we can help each other.”
“NO NOT WITH OUT JAYLA” I shouted pushing her away “I CANT” I ran upstairs into her bedroom and lay on the bed crying.
“Kaine it’s alright I’m happy” a girly voice said I looked around and nobody was there just that same light but then it disappeared again like before. I was pretty sure I heard her it had to be her she sounded happy like I always knew her to be. I closed my eyes.“Right ok we are going to go jump in and swim in the lake” “Okay ladies first?”I was dreaming the event and she looked so beautiful.There she goes she jumped“NO!”
I woke up and she was there in front of me cross legged on the bed. My eyes were staring at her blinking.
“Shh” she said in her beautiful gorgeous voice “it's dangerous you must be quiet mom might come up and kick you out that would be bad. I’m glad we had our first kiss at Lake Lure today first of many I hope” I was confused then I remembered I’m thinking of the night of the first kiss I remembered what I said so I went along with it to spend time with her.
“I had an amazing time with you today I’m the luckiest guy in the world you’re so pretty and there will defiantly be more kisses” I leaned in and kissed her lips.
“Do you really have to go to Marion tomorrow?” she asked me with a sad face.
“Yeah I’m sorry I wish it wasn’t for a week though, it’s just the way the divorce went”
“So what do you do with your dad while you’re there?” this was one of the questions I wish she would never ask and I couldn’t tell for personal reasons.
“You know …guy stuff”
“Alright fine you don’t have to tell me I understand” I miss that about you, so much come back
“Thank you maybe I will tell you when I’m ready ok?” and now she will never hear it.
“Ok…damn it I hear mom you better go. Goodnight”
“Goodnight. Sweet dreams. See you next week.” Say you love her damn it say it. I leaned down and kissed her forehead and climbed out the window down the pipe. I looked up and she was there waving goodbye I waved and she faded away.“NO!” I woke up again I saw Jade at the door red eyed.
“Kaine it will be okay I think she is happy where she is.”
“They are organising her funeral downstairs. You don’t have to go to school on Monday if you can’t handle it.”
“I’m going, it might help but it’s just going to be sad and empty in all her seats. I miss her I hear her voice she is trying to tell me she is happy but it sounds wrong. I love her so much she is my Jayla”
“I know, I know it’s hard.”
We went downstairs and I sat next Jade on the sofa she held my hand for support I didn’t move away because I knew she was trying to help. The vicar had arrived after I had run upstairs.
“How soon would you like the funeral Mrs McKenzie?”
“I…I’m not sure”
“We have a free space on Wednesday is that ok?”
“This Wednesday yeah I suppose that is ok” she replied shaken up I gripped Jade’s hand tightly she didn’t flinch she looked at me and nodded encouragingly. Me and Jade have always been friends but never so close
“Would you like her to buried or cremated?” The vicar asked her
“Erm… buried please” she sobbed it was too much for me I had to leave I had to get out of her house the house I would go to when my house was unbearable. I said goodbye to everyone and left.
I decided to go to Lake Lure I knew it would be the last place on earth I would go to but before she died it was the best place on earth and I wouldn’t tarnish that memory.
There were flowers at the entrance where the yellow tape had once been. There were candles and teddy bears letter and drawings. I didn’t leave anything because what I was feeling couldn’t be left on the ground or expressed in such a simple form.
I stood at the edge of the pier looking into the water I stepped back and jumped in. The water was icy cold and bitter I swam lower looking for what she was caught on but I couldn’t find it. I saw that light again she was in it floating and smiling she looked up and I was drowning I had to get out I kicked my legs and swam back to the surface I coughed letting the air back into my lungs and climbed back onto the pier.
I slowly trekked it out of the forest and I saw her car I put my hand in my pocket and felt the car key in my hand it was the warmest thing on my body I took it out and opened the car door. I sat inside remembering the last time I sat in the car she was with me. I had to get away from here I drove out and I drove the car through town and back to Jayla’s house and parked it on her drive I took the key out of the ignition and posted it in the letter box on her door.
Her mom opened the door and saw me.
“Would you like to come in?” she asked
“Yeah ok then.” I replied and a smile grew on her face. I walked in and sat in the living room
“It was good to see you earlier we never got a chance to talk about things. How are you coping?”
“Well it’s been hard I spent all week in my bedroom starving myself I made my mom depressed but Sam woke me up he told me how crazy I had been acting and how Jayla wouldn’t like the way I handled things.”
Her mouth hung open when she heard what I did “yes I agree she would be very angry with you and would probably not speak to you for a week.” She smiled looking deep at me “Are you feeling better now anyway?”
“Not really I feel emptiness in my heart that Jayla has taken with her. I keep seeing a bright light it’s like she is in it but it disappears when I get a chance to look deep inside”
“That must be her she is one big bright light don’t forget that and she will always be there when you need her just think about her.”
“I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s killing me but I need to think about her to keep her alive”
“I understand. I knew she wasn’t a very popular girl but I’m so glad she had you and Jade you both made her feel popular.”
“She made me the happiest guy as well.”
She smiled at that “would you like a cup of coffee?”
“Oh yes please Sarah.”
She got up and went into the kitchen. I looked around the room gazing at all her baby pictures and her junior school pictures. There was a frame on the fireplace with a picture of her and me she took the photo we were pulling a silly face I had my tongue out and she did bunny ears on the back of my head.
“Pack it in we need a serious picture” she said pulling herself together after I kept doing silly things on camera
“But serious is boring” I pouted
“Fine we do one silly photo together and then a serious one deal?”
“At last she listens to reason” I teased she put the camera towards us and we moved in closer I stuck my tongue out and she put her hand behind my head. Flash. “Are you trying to blind me?” I said rubbing my eyes
“Maybe” she giggled “Now for our serious picture” we moved closer again and smiled together. Flash.
Sarah walked in with the two cups of coffee and passed one to me.
“Thank you” I drank a bit of it, it was boiling hot and burnt my tongue I squinted a little and put it on the coffee table to cool down. “So how are you coping?” I asked
“Well it’s hard very hard she is the only child I had and now that she is gone… I don’t know… I really miss her.”
“Yea But we can get through this.”
We sat drinking our coffee and talking very little mostly it was very quiet. Talking to Jayla’s mom helped me a bit she brought in some biscuits and I ate a few.
“Is her dad coming to the funeral?” I asked remembering she had a dad
“He doesn’t know he hasn’t been her life anyway so I don’t think he would care.”
“Where does he live?”
“Somewhere in Marion I think.”
“Oh right my dad lives there”
“Yes I think Jayla mentioned that he did when you went to visit him the other week.”
“Yeah, yeah” I shifted in my seat and took another sip of coffee. “I think I should go now thanks for the coffee and the biscuits. It was comforting chatting with you.”
“It's no problem if you ever need to talk, feel free to come round anytime”