'Stop looking at your life through the telescopes attached to your eyes. They do you no good, no good at all'
You have often wondered why I did what I did. Why I moved out. Why I abandoned the family. It's my turn to tell you my side, brother. I never did abandon you, or perhaps I did. It was so long ago I can barely remember how it felt. All I know is that it hurt.
My house on the cliff that you never visited, it served little practical purpose, I admit, except to waste my money to spite our parents. Every single year without fail, the council comes, they offer defences against the sea and the waves. They offer me protection and I never take it. Some have tried to force it to happen, but the little stretch of cliff running through my garden is mine alone and they cannot change that. So what if my house falls into the ocean? Douma and I would be out safely, I know we would. I would not be so unprepared as that.
I do enjoy the view. Who wouldn't? Well, you probably, I know what you were like. Fucking city boy through and through. You would hate the noise the waves make, though I love them. They matched my mood, if I was angry they battled against the rocks, when I was calm they stroked them gently.
This place is beautiful, and you will never see it. I don't even remember city life, but I hope you had a good one. But this is my life now: blue and windy. Never lonely. I have Douma, and Thomas (occasionally (its a long story)). However, I do miss you.
I don't think I will ever not miss you, brother. There was a change when you were gone. The sunlight gets darker every day you are not here and the moonlight isn't the same. It knows you're gone. Birds got quieter and now the sea is always melancholy. You changed bloody near everything. Thomas told me the rain was colder this winter, and I can feel it too.
I didn't want to leave you. To leave you broke me, hopefully I shall never find out how much, if it were to show itself I might have to join yo--
Ryan stopped writing.