Plans Are Never SimpleMature

I'm not going to lie...I was slightly turned on by this british chick suddenly getting on top and taking control. Not literally, of course, but you know what I mean. She even demanded me not to move. It was definitely say the least. Of course, I didn't realize what her true intentions were. I thought it was safe to assume she was about to make out with me. Man things were moving fast--was I even ready for this?

Fuck yes I was...but, you see, the problem was that I had a handful of half chewed hot cheetoes in my mouth. I've kissed girls who hadn't minded the taste of Camel cigarettes in my mouth, but I had never met a girl who wouldn't mind a bunch of wet smashed hot cheetoes being exchanged through spit. Plus, Keita had mentioned that she had never tried hot cheetoes before...and it takes a while to build up the taste buds to handle them, so I knew she wasn't ready for that.

That was the real reason I stopped her. But what I said out loud was:

"W...wait!" as I dropped the bag of hot cheetoes and grabbed her shoulders, pushing her away right when she was merely inches from my face. "I'm sorry, Keita...I'm...I'm just not ready." Like I said before, of course I was ready, it was her who wasn't ready...for the hot cheetoes. I just didn't want to embarass her, so I took the blame instead.

You should have seen the look in her eyes. First surprise, then anger, then longing, then more anger.

"What the bloody 'ell do you mean you're not ready???"

I swallowed the hot cheetoes...Now I was ready.

"Well, I wasnt ready, but now I..." but she quickly cut me off.

"What do you mean your not ready?!" Her voice was rising. She was mad. Really mad. I fell silent and my eyes grew big as I watched the true brit inside of her come out.

"You're bang out of order, Michael Joel! Do you know how bloody long I've been waiting for this???"

"" I stammered. It was getting dark, and I was still a bit high from earlier in the day...but MAN did she look terrifying! Maybe it was just the lighting, but her shadowed face nearly looked like a monster's, especially her mouth as it opened and closed while she spoke. Boy did a couple of those teeth look sharp! I was begining to trip the fuck out. God, brits were scary when they got mad!

"I've been waiting for this moment since the second I laid my eyes on you."

I had no idea she liked me that much!!! Why hadn't she showed more signs any sooner!

"And how did you even know?!" She asked, angrily.

" was pretty obvious with you getting all close to me and all..." Psh, of course I knew when I was about to get kissed. What, did she think I was, stupid???

"And why the hell do you even have the slightest thought in your mind that you would be able to stop me? I mean, what's wrong with you?!"

MAN was she kinky or what!!! This was an entire new side of know, I kind of liked it too! I was begining to regret more and more turning down that kiss...

"I'm sorry," I said. "Listen...we can do this another time..."

"Oh we WILL do this another time, and don't you even THINK about stopping me again!"

"God I guess I really killed the moment didn't I?" I was starting to grow depressed...those damn hot cheetoes! I swore right then and there that I would never eat a single hot cheeto again!

"You won't be so lucky next time," she stated, as she bent over to pick up the bag of hot cheetoes I had dropped earlier.

Won't be so lucky next time? What the hell did she even mean by that??? But before I had the chance to ask her, she turned away from me, reaching her hand out towards the trash can.

"WAIT!" I grabbed her hand before she dropped the bag.

"" she asked, glaring at me.

"There's still some in there."


"You can't just waste those."

"Well are you going to eat them?"


"Then..." She started pulling her hand away from mine and back toward the trash can.

"Fine! Give them to me!" I snatched the bag from her and began shoving the rest of the hot cheetoes in my mouth.

She stared at me and said, "You are unbelievable."

Crunch crunch crunch

"Do you have to chew those things so loud?"


Eventually we each got back to our own rooms, and I laid wide awake in bed, regretting stopping her. Why did she have to initiate it right as I had a mouthful of food??? I tried to imagine what would have happened if I hadn't been so dumb, but all I could picture was her scary face in the shadows with those sharp terrifying teeth. No drugs for me tomorrow...I needed to clear my head.

Then I began to think about it more...I really didn't understand her. She didn't act like she liked me at all, yet she was so determined to make out with me??? It just didn't make any sense. Girls were truly a mystery to me.

"Shit!" I said out loud. Maybe a little too loud. I heard my roomate mumble from across the room.

I had just remembered that I had a bunch of essays due in the next couple days.

"Shit!" I said again. My roomate mumbled a little more.

I just remembered that, not only that, but tonight would have been the perfect oppurtunity for me to bite Keita! I blew it. Alright, I had to get my priorities straight...I'd work on my essays, get them all done and turned in...and then I'd focus on biting Keita.

No...I'd bite her and THEN worry about the school work. After changing her, anyway, I could make her help me out on them a bit. Yes, that would work.

"First thing in the morning,'re mine..." I whispered. My roomate mumbled again. "Shut up." I told him.

I stared over at my guitar. This morning I had woken her up by playing too loud. My roomate always woke up early to shower, do last minute homework, study, and then eat. I could play the guiar around 5 in the morning while he's out, wake up Keita again, luring her in to the room...and that'll be my chance. It would work. It had to work. And if it didn't, there was always Plan B...which was to come up with a Plan B.

The End

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