A Simple PlanMature

I had taken a course on how to handle the mentally ill, I had not, however, taken a course on how to handle the suicidal, because that was apparently what Mike was annoying me like that. I was so annoyed in fact, that I bloody forgot to bite the weasel like I had planned to. This game of cat and mouse was becoming tedious and annoying and I was very close to giving up. That was before I remember... I never give up.

I laid awake that night thinking of ways I could get him into my dorm, or get into his at least. Seriously, just the thought of telling him what to do and how to do it made me smile. But I knew this wouldn’t be easy, its like, smart people don’t fall into traps... and majorly dumb people also don’t fall into traps. I had to think, like actually think. What does he like... video games, stuffed animals... living in a pig sty. Crayons... I wonder if he would fall for a trail of crayons leading into the basement, if it lead to my room it would be too obvious. Maybe I could lure him into the laundry room and stuff him into one of the machines until he vowed to serve only me. Or... maybe I could lure him with the possibility that I’ll actually help him in the future with his work. Whether he was up to date with notes or not, it was very unlikely he was up to date with all the essays that were set while he was away. Not only that, but they were due in the next 3 days. He'd definitely need my help. But to be honest I don’t really want to give it. OK, the essay thing is plan B. Only idiots didn’t have a 'plan b'

The next day I woke up to the sound of... a guitar? My bed was against the wall that was separating me and Mike. I pressed my ear against the wall, still half asleep. I couldn’t tell what he was playing, but it was nice...is what I would have thought if he hadn’t woken me out of my sleep. I imagined my hair was a mess and I imagined my face looked demented, but even those very likely factors didn’t stop me from getting up out of bed opening my door and banging on his until I head the melody abruptly stop. “Mike” I spoke through the door “Do you know what time is it, sweety?”

Uhhh” I heard his muffled voice through the door “5?”

Whozah smart boy?”


If you ever wake me up, at this kind of time again... I will hurt you. Ok?”

It's not my fault I couldn’t sleep”

Yes it is!” I shouted as I banged the door. OK, so I wasn’t exactly a morning person, I liked sleep, a lot. And if I was living next to someone who didn’t... well, there was bound to be repercussions. I heard him mumble something, but I really wasn’t in the mood to dare him to say it again. With that, I left his door and went back to my own room to try and sleep for the two hours I had left before I had to get up.

When I woke up for the second time that morning, it was raining again. I didn’t mind the rain, in fact I quite liked it, the only memory I have of it raining at this college is someone wandering around outside. Eventually I got up and got ready, I had about half an hour before my first class, so I went down to the canteen for breakfast. I decided to sit on a table farther away from the majority of people in there, it was too early in the morning to smell so many different people, which reminded me. I still hadn’t managed to make my first kill in this college. What a pathetic excuse for a vampire that made me. Just as I sat down Mike took the seat opposite me. I looked at him a little surprised that I didn’t see him arrive. “When did you get here?” 

February 23rd, 1990”

Aww, my sarcasm is rubbing off on you!” I cleared my throat uncomfortably. Despite my thinking of suitable plans last night, I actually really liked Mike. In an annoying way, he was pretty awesome. I was actually scaring myself with the thought of actually being 'friends' with him. “Do you wanna like, do something later” I actually cringed when I said that, for two reasons, 1. I was becoming pathetic, 2. he was bound to make a sexual innuendo out of that sentence. To my surprise, he agreed to go to the park with me and on the way I some how ended up buying him an ice cream and hot cheetos.

We sat on the swings for what felt like hours but only turned out to be minutes with his annoying crunching and gorilla burps. Which for some reason got me thinking. If I were to bite Mike in this magnificent moment, in a park filled with trees and bushes, pretty late at night for little kids to be around and the cover of night fall... would that make me a bad person? I had never really thought about it before, but what would I be taking away from him. That’s when it hit me that I had pretty much no idea what kind of life Mike lived, except for annoying people early in the morning and walking in the rain like an escaped patient and crunching really loud in my ear, and once all those thoughts sluggishly dragged themselves across my mind I realised, I didn’t care. I really should have thought of this plan of action before...

I got up from my swing and went and stood in front of Mike who was leaning against the support bars. He stopped crunching long enough to look at me.


I sighed “Just stay still and don’t talk...you’re gonna put me off”

Put you off wh-”

He cut himself off when I leaned in so close I could feel him breathing, heaven forbid he thought I was about to kiss him or something, but it shut him up so it didn’t matter much. “Don’t move” I said as I leaned into his neck very slowly. I think it was safe to say, I finally had him. 

The End

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