That night I lay in my bed utterly and completely confused. These past events had been pretty weird now that I thought about it. The way Mike had avoided all my moves to try and bite him. Even after all that, I would have never guessed that he knew. More to the point, HOW did he know. How did I not know that he knew. And how could I make sure he didn't tell anyone?
“Ugh! That stupid monkey!” I shouted into the dark room.
...wait a minute. Mike is a monkey, so how did he figure it out, I was so careful, I'm always careful. Something wasn't adding up right. And that's when it hit me. Hit me like a bitch out of line. I was being the stupid one here. Mike didn't know. For two reasons, I was too smart and he was too dumb. But then, what did he think was happening, what did he think I was going to–
“No...God no!” I sat up, the most embarrassed I could ever remember feeling. The one thing I had hoped he wouldn’t think...why the hell am I so unlucky?!
Yeah, yeah it all made sense, that’s what he was going to say..'im not ready'..'Well, I wasn’t ready, but now I–' yeah I was aware I had cut him off, but I could put two and two together. I fell back onto my bed feeling a headache coming. I eventually fell asleep that night with quite a bit on my mind. There was no way Id be able to face him while I was so embarrassed.
That morning, around 5.15, I woke up to that same sound I had the night before. “I'm going to kill him” he’s doing this on purpose, I know it. And as much as I would like to break down the door a wring his skinny little neck, there were two reasons stopping me from doing so. 1. I'm pretty sure he wanted me to get mad. 2. There was no way I could even look at him right now, as much as I didn't want to admit it, even to myself, I was still embarrassed about what had happened, and really didn't want to risk not being able to look him in the eye. It was hard to scare someone without looking them in the eye. So, like a calm and collected human being –which I wasn't– I grabbed some clothes and headed for the shared dorm showers, but not before kicking his door as hard as I could.
I actually couldn’t believe that Mike had driven me out of my dorm room so damn early. This wasn't fair! Why wasn't I causing him immense pain right now? I strolled around the campus for a good hour before I ended up at the balcony side of my dorm. 'Damn, I forgot to put laundry out' I thought lazily before I saw him at his balcony window, guitar in hand, just staring. So I did what any other person would in this situation. I flipped him off and carried on walking...fucker.
I sat in the cafeteria that morning staring at nothing for what only felt like a few minutes before I was disturbed.
“Hey” Mike came and sat opposite me, he looked pretty happy for reasons unknown to me... he must have managed to dress himself or something.
“What do you want”
He looked at me and actually looked as though he was thinking about it. “A dog, I'd call him Zion...my own place, there'd be parties every night. An education I didn't have to work for. Some weed...”
“You're not funny”
That’s when he gave me one of those cheeky grins that made me want to punch him in the face to be honest, and I'm pretty sure I would have, if I wasn't so damn hungry. I wouldn’t be able to keep this up for much longer, I didn't even have the energy to stay angry at him.
“So about yesterday...”
“Shut up” don't want to think about it.
Oh great he’s doing that stupid thing again. “You think you're funny don't you?”
“What do you want!” Headache. Coming. Back.
“Well~” he sang and I felt my will to live completely leave the room. “I need help”
“You've come to the wrong person”
“Hey, come on, I've missed two weeks, give me a break”
“Gladly” The arm. The leg. A rib. Whatever you like, love.
“I just need notes on the essays I missed, they're due soon and I don't even know what to do”
“If I promise to help you, will you leave me alone?” I asked, pretty desperately.
“If you promise to come to my dorm later and help me properly”
“Fine.” I waited a few seconds before giving him one of my looks.
“Oh, you meant leave now” he said confused “Right, later”
That’s when I let out around a years worth of sighs.
As much as I actually wanted Mike to fail, I did promise him that I would help him and if I was nothing else, I was honest. I was pretty sure his head was empty anyway, so cramming some information in shouldn't be too hard. I knocked on his door quietly and he answered it with his guitar in his hand...again. “Oh, you're so asking for it” he knew exactly what I was talking about because he seemed pretty happy with himself...again.
He went and sat down on his bed with a thump while I still stood near the door, “So you're still trying to avoid me?”
He shrugged “I guess you're finally embarrassed about what–”
“...Wanna play a game?”
“Game. Play. You. Me”
I took a deep breath “I thought you wanted me to help you with your essay?!”
“After The Game”
“Ugh, you know what, I'm leaving” as I turned to leave I was shocked to feel Mike suddenly grab me from behind and somehow trap me between him and the door. Before the initial thought of danger crossed my mind, others did first...like...'oh god, he’s going to rape me because he totally thought I was going to kiss him. He’s a psycho. He on drugs anyway. This behaviour is probably normal for him' Then I actually thought about what was going on.
“How did you–?”
That’s when it happened, if it hadn’t happened to me I would have never believed anyone else that told me this story. He moved slow at first, really slow until his forehead was resting on my shoulder. Then it happened really fast, suddenly there was pain and I felt his teeth pierce the skin on my neck. If I wasn't so shocked, I'm sure I would have reacted faster. Once I was over the shock however, I was pretty pissed off.
“Ouch, you fucking bastard, that hurts!”
I kicked him hard and he pulled away in a mixture of shock and pain and at any other time, the face he pulled would have been funny.
“I'm bleeding you idiot, oh my god!”
“Oh you really are stupid, I–” oh no, I'm stupid too. How did I not get this sooner. I pushed him against the wall pretty hard and held open his mouth “Ugh, I can't believe this, an idiot like you. What is the world coming to?” If only I could find the funny side of this.