This is not goodbyeMature

You might not ever see this, I don't know how often you go on here you see. But I wanted you to know that you've hurt me really bad. When you said "I did love you" I felt my heart break in two because of that one word. Did. I know that all I do is make things worse for you and I'm sorry, I just wish that you felt how I did and it's all I'm ever going to wish. I feel as though I can't live without you and it's killing me inside with each day I don't get to talk to you. I love you with everything I have, I know that I'll never be with you but you always seem to give me that little bit of hope and I'm sorry that I can't make you happy. I'm becoming more and more insane and I feel as though I don't have long left, I can't go on feeling this way for much longer. I'll try and be strong but I just keep getting weaker and weaker because everything I ever wanted in life is falling apart and it's my fault, I'm ruining everything. If I ever do go then I don't want you feeling as though it was your fault. Because suicide is something that one person does and it's nobodies fault but their own. I'm causing all this to fall apart by thinking that it's not going to but convincing myself that it is only makes me feel worse because then I feel like an idiot for ever thinking it wouldn't. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you and probably will continue to cause you, I'm sorry for everything because I know that I ruined your life in the process of ruining my own. I always do that you see, I take people away from their lives and don't even realise it. It's because I'm selfish and I want everything to go right for me. I don't deserve my life and I certainly don't deserve to share yours. But no matter how hard I try I just can't see you around other girls because the jealousy that rips through me is unbearable and I just want to stop it, yet I can't. I'm sorry for this because I know it won't make things better on your part but I needed to tell you how I feel and I felt this was the best way. I'll try my best not to love you but I can't promise anything, you're just too perfect in my eyes and people don't realise just how much I would give up for you. Then again, I am just a naive little girl so I guess they wouldn't care anyway. Nobody could ever understand me, but I always felt like you did. I don't really know how to end this so I'm just gonna do it the traditional way, with a full stop.

The End

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