As a result of growing up in a wheelchair, I didn't have a bunch of options to choose hobbies. I have always loved watching my brother participate in sports, he was incredible. Your typical jock, except he was kindhearted. He was the captain of the football team, he set four different records on the swim team, and he was going to college to wrestle.
My family went to all of his sporting events and I always cheered him on and was overjoyed for his success, but at the same time I was immensely jealous. It wasn't fair that he always got to play and be part of a team, yet I had to sit on the sidelines.
Don't get me wrong, I tried to play sports. I tried a wheelchair basketball team, it just wasn't what I was looking for. I didn't feel like it was competitive enough for me, it didn't challenge me like I needed it too.
Neither did school. It was way to easy for me. I didn't get out of the house much, other than Chris's games, so a majority of my time was spent studying and doing homework. Whilst studying, I'd always get to the point where I couldn't study anymore because I knew the material like the back of my hand. Then I'd be left thinking, 'What the hell am I going to do with the remaining six hours before I go to bed?'
You want to know what those hours went to? They were completely dedicated to all of the geekiest things you can think off. I read the hell out of comic books and I loved myself some dungeons and dragons (online of course). I was, without a doubt, obsessed with online gaming. You name it, I've played it: Call of Duty, Halo, World of Warcraft, League of Legends, Smite, the list goes on. I particularly enjoyed my science fiction and fantasy.
My brother was great at sports, and I was great at crushing some nerds online. I wonder which will get you further in life?
It's really depressing, it's when I'm playing these games that I actually feel happy and not inferior to others. You don't need to be able to move your legs to snipe a noob, or avoid the fire, or push a tower lane.
My mom and dad, they don't care how much the next game or platform costs. They feel extreme guilt for what happened and buy what they think will make me happy. My mom blames herself every day, and my dad always fears me actually going through with suicide. It's sort of a win-lose scenario for me.