This Is My Life

All the poems I've written up to this point. They tell my story but I think everyone can find at least one that describes how they have felt at one time. i would say I hope you like them but, I really don't care either way as long as the poems let people know that what they're not alone and other people have felt that way before....

Tears and Blood

I dig in deep
And find nothing but pain
So I cry until my tears are gone

I take a knife
And cut real deep till I'm soaked in blood
But the pain just won't come

I write messages in blood
As regret sinks in

I try to say good-bye
But all I can write is sorry

As my blood dries
The light leaves my eyes


No moon in the night
No hope in my heart
Nothing to fear
Cus death has arrived
You cry and you beg
But death will ascend
You pray for your soul
Cus you know it's the end
The end of your life
There's nothing to come
But a knife and your heart
And blood all around

My Secret Pain

It's my life not yours
So don't take control
You think you know my pain
Then I won't explain
How my smile is a mask
To cover my frown
I'm tired of the questions
So just please don't ask
You know I'll just say
That everything's okay
But you'll never know
That I cry myself to sleep
That nightmares don't compare
To the monsters of reality
You think I have it all
So why should I complain
What you don't see is my pain
You don't see my heart bleeding
So don't try to explain
What you don't understand


I cry for memories long forgotten
And ones that won't go away

I cry for the nightmares that haunt my sleep
And the truths that haunt my reality

I cry for the pain that won't go away
And for the one that can never come back

I cry for my fears
And for broken dreams

But mostly I cry
To make sure I'm still here
And not just a memory easily forgotten


You made your choice
And I made mine
You chose the bottle
I chose the knife

You made your choice
And I made mine
You moved on
I have not

You made your choice
And I made mine
You chose hard truth
I chose a lie

Did you not see
How you hurt me
When you chose her
Right after me

So make your choice
And I'll make mine
You choose to live
I choose to die...

I Gave Myself to Pain

Blood is so pure
An indescribable red
Never to be recreated
The essence of life

It runs through our veins
It runs down my wrist
And I take a sick pleasure in watching it
Roll down my arm

Like tears from my eyes
Both warm and salty
Both showing pain

Keep on giving myself to pain
Give it everything I have left
Give it the blood that runs through my veins
And maybe it'll give me the pleasure of death

Darkness consumes me
Folds me in its black wings
And carries me away

Pain Cures Lies but Not Truth

This pain I hold
It's too much to bear
Controls my life
And pushes everyone away

I thought I had a cure
I thought I had won
But that wasn't true
I thought wrong

The lies I told
Consumed my life
And became my death

Dreamer with No Hope

I am a dreamer in despair
I wonder what the future holds
I hear the whispers of the hopeless
I see this doomed world shatter
I want a world with dreams, hopes, and love
I am a dreamer in despair

I pretend that my smile tells the truth
I feel like I'm drowning in sorrow
I touch the pain within others
I worry that humanity has lost its compassion
I cry for memories long forgotten
I am a dreamer in despair

I understand that fear will be our end
I say the time to change may be gone
I dream of breaking free from society's chains
I try to make others happy
I hope that I'll always remember
I am a dreamer in despair

I Will Soon Shatter

So fragile and weak
Scared of both the future and past
Afraid of giving in to the craving
Of hard, cold metal on delicate flesh

Afraid that as the flesh parts
And small droplets of blood appear
You'll feel no pain

Or maybe that you'll crave more pain
And slice again and again
Till your blood consumes you
Till you're covered in crimson

So fragile and weak
Scared of both the truth and lies
Afraid your selfishness will consume you
Like it did your past

Afraid that you'll give in
Take the easy way out
And slice too deep, too fast
No turning back

You stupid girl
What have you done?
His face will forever haunt you
When he sees what you've become


Easily breakable
Ripped from you
In the blink of an eye

Doesn't believe in me
How can I believe?
If he gave up on me

Droplets of blood
Crimson runs down my arm
Giving life to



Confusion, chaos, all inside
Blood pain and tears collide
My senses feelings and thoughts are blurred
How can I think when my pain won't go

Same Old Story

As I glare up at the sky
As I wish upon a star
Feel the tears upon me fall
All I wish is this and nothing more

If my wish you will not grant
To my life please put an end
For my blood is on your hands
All I need is this and nothing more

We have tried this once before
Thousand pieces my heart broke
Many words and truths untold
All I have is this and nothing more

One more chance he did provide
What to do I can't decide
For my heart still bleeds inside
All this is, is pain and nothing more

All this pain I hold inside
All the tears I cannot cry
To all this he put a stop
All this is, is love and something more

My salvation or my end
What you see from where you stand
On my life it will depend
All I want is him and nothing more


The truth will set you free they say
Well lies, cus truth is death
My life flashes before me
As I watch my future fade

You Chose Lies Not Me

You uncovered buried secrets
Ones better left unsaid
The sadness in your eyes
Destroyed the barrier I'd made

I cried away the horror
I cried away the pain
You held me in your arms
And you said I'd be okay

But now you've changed your mind
I'm a liar, I'm a freak
You put your trust in lies
Rather than in me

His actions stole my innocence
His actions stole my dreams
Your actions will condemn me
And make my body bleed

History Repeats Itself

We went through this before
I recall that night for sure
My heart broken, tears invoked

Your apathy thrown at my face
Sure let's be friends, I said
And that girl...threw you aside

And you talked about it all
While I cried on the other side

That one time you held me close
Took all my strenght to let you go

Got you back now finally
But afraid history will repeat


The End

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