Taking my Time

Mother called to me again.  I knew it wasn't right to make her suffer for the pain I felt.  She had her crosses to bear, she was, after all was said and done, the one that carried the largest part of the burden, she was the cancer patient.
I watched the sun sink slowly, it wasn't beautiful, I watched waves roll in and caress the shorline, there was no power, everything was somber, impotent.  Only one word carried weight Cancer.
I said the biggest part of the burden, when did it get to be a burden?  When had I started to view it as a burden?  It was a disease, it was a ghostly shadow that loomed over our lives.
I headed towards the house, walking slow I gave the tears free reign.  There was no need to do that in front of mother, I wanted to be brave for her.  But, there was some part of me that was angry, some part of me that blamed her.  The part of my mind that accepted the diagnosis had played out long ago, now I was angry.
Hadn't she promised me she'd be there forever? 
It was ridiculous I knew that, still, I needed someone to blame.  I walked slowly towards the house, I heard her call me again.  Why did she call me, why didn't she just leave me alone?  Why couldn't I just turn the hands of time back, back before, Cancer..

The End

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