I woke up about half an hour later in the recovery room. They supplied me with strawberry oxygen which was actually rather comforting. I was drowsy, my body ached with fatigue and pain, but it was that hopeful kind of pain, the pain that gets worse before it gets better.

I think I had a dream whilst in surgery. I questioned the nurse, she said it was possible so I think it's authentic, and not my mind craftily planting things in my subconscious to protect me. I saw the deep cornflower blue of the ocean, and the way the light twinkled on the top of the surface, like a handful of intricate constellations. I was looking at this in the perspective of a fish, a humble koi carp to be specific. Fish were gliding lazily across the top, forming ripples of energy. They were the colours of ripe oranges and rich purples you find on a chocolate wrapper. They were just gliding there, enjoying their peaceful journey of self exploration. I marvelled at them, even after I had woken up, their freedom and simplicity I envied.

The End

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