Someone asked me the other day how I can be so happy all the time. Well, naturally, I laughed because I guess I've thought about it but never really put it down somewhere that reminds me. Which I need to do. So here goes. It's quite simple really and I can't believe it's made me so happy, why it's the reason I can't frown without laughing.
I love humanity.
Oh yes, you can say that what you are about to read are the exception to the human race, that most of us are arrogant pigs, and I see where you'd be coming from; but everyone has the basics of humanity that has made me love life. I guess I just love love. I'm grappling in the dark here since these concepts are too big for me to fully understand so you may have to bear with me!
I think about all the people who have helped me at work without question and with smiles of their own. I love the fact that people are so willing to help me. In helping me they are showing that they love me and I cannot help but love them back because it's the very feeling of love that I am drawn to. This is very hard to explain. In different ways I love my brother, my best friend, my boss, my colleague, my teachers, my brother's best friend. You get the picture.
The idea that everyone has love inside them and has the power to readily give it out should they so choose is one of the most uplifting things I have ever experienced. I think the only way to show you the little piece of me that has never been revealed is to go back over some stories from previous chapters and explain exactly what I was feeling and attempt to explain why.
When James stopped the till fom hitting me. I felt love towards him that he would do that without even thinking. This is the perfect example of one of our human foundations: the wish to help people. It wouldn't, I don't believe, have even occured to him not to stop the draw because he didn't want to hurt anyone. I think it is the fact that he did it without thinking that is so humbling as it shows just how caring human beings are. I thoroughly believe we are all born with the same emotions and feelings, it's just how we choose to use them that differs us. For example, three people could see a homeless person. One could walk by with nothing but a disgusted grimance, another could frown and think 'Oh that poor man, I hope somebody helps him' but it would be the third person who would go up to him and give him food or a kind word. All three are humans, all three feel love, hate, anger, passion. One acted on empathy.
Sam told me he was leaving. I felt love towards him because I realised just how much I didn't want him to leave. He's the one I know betetr than everyone else that I work with and to have him gone means, well I guess I don't know what it means. I am just like any other human. If someone is kind to me, I respond with kindness back and, since we are sociable creatures, make friends easily. But I bond too deep too quickly. No, I don't love Sam in that way, but to have the prospect of never seeing him again makes me realise just how powerful human love can be and how worth it is holding on to.
Random conversations with customers I've never met before and will probably never see again. I felt love towards them because they are like me, able to open their heart and show that it is open. Choice. Love is all about choice. There are three different people we see at the tills; the ones who don't even look at you, they simply hand the money over and walk out, then they're the ones who smile and say thank you then walk out. And finally the ones who'll stand there for an extra five seconds to hear what you have to say with a huge grin on their faces when they realise our souls have connected.
Love to souls? One and the same, my friend.
The best thing about our ability to love is that every single one of us has it within us. I'm always smiling because I see so much of this love all around me that my heart is like a constant glowing orb. This love makes me feel close to everyone and I love feeling that, like I can make a difference to everyone because I believe they can see just how much I put into my smiles. That's why my laugh is so loud, in an attempt to rid my body of the pent-up emotion I can't get out. It makes me feel like I can do anything, that I don't need anything else in the world as long as there are people who I can smile at. It makes me want to hug everyone at work, my manager, my colleagues, the customers; perhaps not the best idea though. It gives me enough energy to run a three minute mile, well mentally, physically I'm probably somewhat lacking to say the least.
It makes me want to never stop loving anything.
And I still cannot fully explain it.