I'd been stood outside this crappy looking pub for about 15 minutes before I got a text saying she was almost there. She better be, I'm cold and I need alcohol. A figure strode towards me, wearing some awesome boots and a leather jacket (both of which I wanted to rob) and she smiled.
"What are you craving Mr Grimsley?" She asked, straight to the food without a thought for my feelings. Good lass.
"Honestly? Chicken, and a mo'fecken' pint."
Her smile widened.
"You're in luck." She said, and dragged me in to a posh looking restaurant next to the crappy pub. From the outside it looked like somewhere Henry would bring his parents. On the inside it looked like somewhere he'd hide from his parents. And it smelt of fried chicken, and mo'fecken beer. I was so impressed, I offered to pay.
"Go grab us that table in the corner with the fat chairs." I said, "And I'll get the food in. What are you supping?"
"Corona." She replied, and skulked off to get said seats. How anyone could be so cool was beyond me. I feel a Guns n' Roses song coming on. I ordered us the biggest basket of chicken I could, extra spices, large fries and two beers. The bar tender handed me the drinks and I wandered over to her and plonked one in front of her.
"Cheers bro." She said, and took a huge swig. I did the same. Nom, beeer.
"So how's life?" She asked me, I had two choices. Professional mannerism, or 'IMA ROCKSTAR LOOK AT ME' mannaerism. Obviously, I chose the latter.
"Stuffs awesome right now." I replied, going on about how I was planning to leave Vamps and that Dear Superstar wanted me and all that. She looked mildly impressed. The fangirl-ism had subsided greatly. Is that a good thing?
"Cool." She said, more interested in the beer. Not like that's a bad thing, beer is amazing. It might just be the coolest thing on the planet. Except me, and Dave Mustaine. And Chuck Norris and shiit.
A fit waitress came over and placed our (Or MY) food on our table and promptly told us to "Enjoy our meal". That went without saying, it looked amazing. We both instantly went for a chicken leg like a pair of fatties and chomped away. Conversation is non existent when I'm stuffing my chops. She stopped eating and watched me for a second.
"It seems you enjoy cock in your mouth."
It was soon on the floor after that statement. After a coughing fit and half a bottle of beer, and apologising to the couple behind me for nearly crushing their dinner, I looked up and went to retaliate.
Nothing came out.
"Nice comeback." She mumbled through half laughs, and started chomping on chips. I threw one at the bizatch for good measure. Apparently I was in for an awesome day.