Touch of MadnessMature

The shop was pretty open, and there weren't many people in there, so I was totally exposed. A few people looked at me, but I'm fairly sure I wasn't instantly recognisable. I shuffled casually further, past the romantic fiction and round a corner to the crime section. I felt like James Bond or something, contemplated pretending I had a gun in my pocket but that might look quite bad. I walked round a corner, past the sci-fi, had to swerve to avoid some twat clerk with a trolley and fell straight into someone, knocking them flying. Smooth. I spun round to help them up, and my jaw dropped. She glanced at me, took my hand and stood up, picked her bag up and phone up and turned to thank me, and her jaw hit the floor twice as fast as mine. We both stood there gawping at each other blankly for a moment, when I thought I'd better say something.

“Hi.” I mumbled, and smiled awkwardly. That was all I could think up at the time. I couldn't even begin to imagine what she was thinking.

“H...hi.” She stuttered back at me, and returned my smile. You could so tell she was trying to be extra cool about meeting Ben Grimsley in a bookshop. Start some damn conversation man!

“So erm, buying anything nice?” I asked. “Like erm... Twilight?” First book that came into my head. She looked disgusted.

“Ew. I'd rather give money to immigrants than waste it on that crap.” She said. I know it's not uncommon to hate Twilight but she got 10 extra cool points right there. She looked less dolled up this time, wearing a Maiden hoodie, skinnie jeans and converse. I had to admit she was being really cool. If I met Katy Perry I'd crumble like Ryvita.

“Haha.” I chuckled. “So I assume you've got tickets for Bat tonight?” I questioned. What a silly thing to say.

“Yep, sure do.” She replied. “You guys have rolled in early though?”

“Yeah, motorway was clear as. So I'm just ambling around by myself, bored, not knowing where I'm going or anything.” Cough. Hint girl. She glanced at the floor then looked back at me.

“And, I'm starving.” I added.

“Same.” Before I could think about what I was saying I had such a blurt out.

“Well it makes sense that we should both eat, and seen as I have no idea where to eat here, you should direct me, and then if you feel like doing so, stick around and keep me company.” She looked like she was going to explode. Poor girl. She had no idea what was to come.

“Well, there's a pizza hut next door...you can't miss it.” She stammered, trembling. I really hoped she'd get over it, it looked weird. But, she knew exactly how to win me over. PIZZA.

“I'm not about to sit in Pizza Hut alone, like some sort of emo kid. Come on, I'll even pay. Then you can tell all your friends you went to dinner with Ben Grimsley.” That sounded so big-headed!

She gawped at me for half a second, seemed to regain herself, very professionally I might add, and simply nodded. We walked out of the shop in complete silence, and I could see why. She brought her phone out and started texting someone rampantly; she was the fastest sodding texter I've ever seen.

“Jeez, you type like a motherfooker!” I exclaimed, she just smiled at me again and nodded. Awh bless. We turned left and walked a bit, then turned into Pizza Hut. While we were stood waiting to be seated my phone rang. I whipped it out and said hello briskly.

“Hey dude!” I heard Emily's voice sound. “Me and the girls are sat in erm... Princes Quay. Where are you? Do you fancy grabbing whoever you're with and having a pre-show couple?”

“Hey Em, erm, I'm in Pizza Hut at the moment, by myself.” I said.

“Why you by yourself? Pizza Hut? Where's that?”

“I don't friggin' know! We're in Hull remember? I'm just in a Pizza Hut. With a girl.”

“Oh as if!” She screeched, loud enough for Danni to hear. She looked at me then gestured towards a free table. I followed.

“Yes Em, can you call me in an hour or so?”

“Sure! Have fun Ben, oh my god I'm so happy! Bye!” And she hung up. Women really.

Says the man who just picked up one in the Science Fiction section.  

The End

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