Test DriveMature

"Right, let's see how well this thing can do zero to sixty miles per hour! That is, if it can reach that..."

I just had to do it. But seemingly, nobody else did. Never mind that, it must happen.

"NO, DON'T!!!" Was the inevitable response from the back, which is acceptable when you're sitting on a bench with no seatbelts. My co-driver, however, was silent, weirdly. Which was a mistake.

"My co-driver doesn't disagree, so HERE WE GO!.."

It seemed easy, but trying to launch a Saxon is like trying to kill two stones with one bird. It's the other way; the Saxon will happily launch you through a house, if needed. I depressed the clutch and we lurched forward, causing me to smack my face on the wheel. It was worse in the back, as both occupants had been thrown, like toys out of a pram, onto the floor. Roy clambered to his feet. Julie didn't, prefering to stay on the ground and curl up to protect herself. She knew what was coming.

"Alex, what the hell? Don't do that." He grabbed the wheel and turned it hard right, and at the same moment, I stamped 'accidentally' on the throttle, causing Roy to smash his face against the side of the wall, and for Julie to slide slowly from one side of the bay to the other. Roy fell to the floor and I made him promise he would stay there.

"Bloody hell, I could feel the Saxon rolling over." My face was pale white after that episode. But I wasn't finished testing just yet. I collected myself and set my sights on my target. A caravan.

"Ah, let's see how well it can go through stuff. See that caravan, Duncan?"

He nodded, as he knew what I would say next.

"We're going to drive through it! It's not like caravans are any use when every field has mines planted in them."

This time, the occupants in the back stayed silent. They couldn't be bothered to complain. Anyway, there was no way I was missing that caravan. Not when it was shining in the dusk light. The Saxon thundered towards the caravan at a mind-warping speed for an armoured tank/lorry.

"BRACE YOURSELF!" I shouted. It felt like everything was in slow motion.


The Saxon romped straight through the caravan, leaving two thirds of the 'van on the ground, and one third stuck on the grille of my new favourite vehicle EVER. It even prompted Duncan to make a noise, a single phrase;

"That. Was. AWESOME!"

"I think that's enough 'testing' for today. Let's get down there and teach those nitwits a lesson." I was comprehensively satisfyed with the Saxon's performance, so we left the base, and headed for battle.

The End

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