How can you forget something that you can't remember?
"what's going on?"
"oh thank god.. listen, you've just had a little problem, we're just here to clear your room a bit, there's some broken glass on the floor... how do you feel?"
"uhm.. I'm okay.. look, I can clear the glass.. why are you in my room?"
"it's fine, we can sort it out, here take this.. we're just checking to make sure you are okay, take this pill and lay back down, just relax and take it easy, okay?"
"right.. I think these pills are making me feel shlee.. my tongue, my tongue ish shwelling up.. what'sh going on?"
"we're nearly finished and then you can go back to sleep, just relax..."
My eyes are crusted. It nearly feels painful to open them but most of the pain is coming from the back of my legs and my arms, like my muscles are stretched. And my tongue, why does my tongue hurt. It feels far too big to fit in my mouth, and it feels like it's cut, like it is covered in ulcers. I open my eyes fully despite how the light makes them feel.
I hate mornings.
I move my bed covers from my body and see bruises down along my legs and arms. What happened last night? I think I drank too much... I might have had too much and fell over... oh god I hope I didn't make an idiot out of myself in front of everybody. I could swear my cousin Tom was here last night. Maybe we both drank, I hope not, I know he has been trying to take it easy. I need to ask someone and find out what had happened.
Fuck. Why is my tongue so swollen. I can barely talk. Okay, I'll go to the bathroom, a bit of mouthwash and a shower and I'll feel much better. My legs are so shaky on the floor, I feel like I've ran a marathon, and where did these bruises come from? I can hold on to the wall and I'll make my way to the bathroom, maybe just a bath to let the warm water help my muscles feel a bit looser, maybe just a... maybe.. I can't stay up, I'm falling...
"why did you get out of bed? you gave us such a scare last night when you had your fit?"
"I had a fit? wait.. I'm back in bed..? wait.. a fit? I thought I jusht drank too much and passhed out?"
"oh no Charlie, you were first to sleep, but then we heard plates smashing and came into your room and you looked like you were having a seizure.. we just removed all the broken plates and glass until you came back around, then gave you a glass of water and waited for you to go back to sleep"
"I.. I think I remember that.. but why ish my tongue sho shwollen, wash it from the pill you gave me?"
"Pill? We didn't give you a pill..."
"And ish Tom okay?"
"Tom? Tom hasn't been here for months... what are you talking about?"
My head sinks back into the pillow behind me, my mind swimming in a pool of bitter honey, finding it hard to turn my neck as I try to understand what is going on.
"I don't understand.."
"We can talk about it tomorrow, for now, just relax and take it easy.."
I don't need to turn my head to see the worried look, I can hear it. I close my eyes and try to forget about what it is I'm struggling to remember as the heaviness of new dreams falls upon me and takes me away to a new world.