The BlurMature

From then on life just zoomed by. School, holidays, friends, park. I was ungrounded and managed to get to my boyfriend's 16th birthday where we made out but in November we finally broke it off. It was inevitable but it didn't stop hurting slightly. He admitted he had cheated on me during his holiday to Slovakia (the family wedding) and it left me empty inside. 

I went on holiday to Sri Lanka in December to see my family. They were happy to have me visiting, unfortunately my brother didn't come. We spent the main holiday down south in a villa on the beach. It was gorgeous and I was filled with happiness just for that small time. New Years was the best however as we partied everywhere, gate crashed a wedding and eventually ended up watching the sunset rise in the morning. My uncle and aunt went to bed and I had a smoke with my uncle's friend. I remember at the time I had a huge crush on him and in some ways I still do, but that's what your mind does to you. Lays a fantasy in your mind, like a disease.

January came round and I had returned to England. Back to school where lessons were dreary and no where near as challenging as they should be.  It was getting dull and drama was quick to make things spice up again.

I had recently gone through several boyfriends and had ended up with my stalker's best friend. We were happy together but my ex was jealous and I just seemed to be using people. I don't know how I had become so shallow over the last couple of months but it had started to plague my soul. One day we were due to have a sleep out in the park again and I was texting one of my gay friends and we chilled before night came. However I left my phone to get pizza for everyone only to come back to find my boyfriend gone and everyone in fits. They said he had looked at my phone and saw my texts to my gay friend, thinking they were for another guy. I was horrified and deeply upset he didn't trust me. I rode off on my bike to find him in a far off wooded area of the park. I scolded him and left. It hurt.

That night I slept with my ex in the sleeping bag. But it got too close and eventually we ended up repeating old times and having sex in the abandoned golf course at the end of the small field in the park. We returned and everyone was asleep but trouble was etched into my boyfriend's face. Guilt flooded me but if he wanted me to cheat then I had done what he wanted....right?

Eventually we split apart and again I ended up in the hands of one using boy to another. They were sweet at first but eventually showed their true colours. Demanding sexual favours and making me feel cheap and invaluable. I didn't know what to do. I had got myself in a vicious cycle. unable to leave.

My ex brought my ex best friend into the group to try and piss me off. However the group was for outcasts and anyone who wanted to was allowed to join. I was angry but I told her I had no issue with her. Slowly we reformed a friendship but nowhere near as strong as before and full of distrust. Then she announced she was pregnant to me and wanted me to be there with her through it. I agreed and we started bunking school to look at the hospital papers and help her plan out the pregnancy. Of course I had to get found out.

My step-mother came into school, took my phone and from then on my form tutor dropped me to and from school. It was horrifying and beyond embarrassing. No one else ever got treated this way and did far worse stuff but of course, me being a model pupil, had to set an example therefore the punishments were a lot harsher.

My dad took to ignoring until eventually he gave in and took me on dog walks so I could talk to him about why I was doing it. I was still getting A*s because the exams were so easy but he didn't think this was acceptable and decided it was best that I got sent to Sri Lanka to live with my grandma. 

My life literally shattered around me and I was left grasping for the pieces.

The End

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