When I finally wriggled my way out of my house clutches I still decided I could not just give in and pretend I was someone else. I would not bend down to their will, I didn't like where it was taking me and without being true to myself their really was no me. Just a shadow of what I was.
So I returned to my friends and started out simply. Back in the parks, running through trees, releasing my pent up energy and frustration through simple childhood games. But soon this wouldn't be enough. Coming home back to the suffocating atmosphere was doing my head in and I had no clue what to do. I just couldn't continue this way. I was going to kill myself otherwise. So again, a stupid, but brave plan hatched in my head. I was going to take myself and others away from these crushing cages of home life for as much time as possible.
So when were we most stuck at home? Night time of course. The easiest option was to go sleep over at other peoples' houses. But then we escape from one cage and run straight into another. It just wouldn't do. So finally we came up with the idea of staying the night in our favourite place. The park.
My first try at doing this came by surprise and I was unprepared. I was with my best friend again and her friend, a stranger to me at the time but soon to be the love of my life. At least that's what I thought then. So we were all chilling at the local park during the day, whisking away time, munching through packets of sweets and generally enjoying the space away from our houses. She was the one who mentioned our plan and thought we should put it into action. All of us called home and announced we were staying at different friends houses. No one but the boy returned home to actually gather stuff though. This would be the big mistake of the night. One I wouldn't make again.
So when evening came we sped off to the shops and gathered the food and drinks we thought we'd need as well as the alcohol and weed we could scrounge off the dealers in the street. Night time was coming in and darkness infiltrated the air. We needed to find our camping spot or we'd be wandering the park forever. After entering the gates we first stopped for a spliff. We were jittery and scared at being caught so we thought the drugs would calm our nerves. It did the opposite.
We reached the other side of the park, a fence sealing off the railway tracks and we leant against it for a break at searching. I pulled out some beers and handed them to my best friend, she turned it down so the boy and I drunk through them as quick as possible, leaving us light headed and giddy. The girl thought it was amusing to make us even more paranoid and claimed the trains were searching for us. This set us off on a desperate search for our camping spot.
Eventually we got off the path into a deeper parts of the wood and settled down in a fairly sheltered and dry area. Now this is in February, in England, so the temperature is dramatically dropping and all we have is the boy's sleeping bag to lie on. We do a couple of prank calls, light up another spliff and settle down. The boy had previously stepped in a puddle so his foot was becoming somewhat frozen. Their highness was also wearing off while mine had just kicked in. I curled up next to the boy while the girl started getting moody and covered her head with a plastic bag, threatening if we went near her she would suffocate herself. I don't think anyone slept that night.
When dawn broke we were frozen and tired. My brown skin had turned white whilst their white skin and tinted blue. It was that bad. We packed away the stuff and headed back to my best friend's house where she was going on a family trip that morning. We walked across the dew-covered field as the sun rose and hobbled down the streets, our legs painfully aching. Eventually we got to her house and she snuck us into her shed in her garden. The door didn't close and the cold winter air seeped in through all the cracks. But as the boy and I curled up on the sunbed with his sleeping bag thrown over us, we didn't care. She came back in with hot chocolates and pop tarts a moment later. Said she was leaving and we could get out the broken back gate before they came back. We thanked her and were soon in a dreamless heavy sleep.
We woke hours later, still cold but starting to thaw and crawled back homes, into our beds, swearing next time we'd be prepared. At least we could thank the weather for not raining but at that moment all I could do was sit in a steaming bath and chase away the frostbite. I had survived and I would continue these unknown camping trips for the rest of my stay in England.