The Rise of Demicrax

One of the most recent stories iv'e begun working on, it's in the really early stages of development but I recently only just discovered this website today and would appreciate any feedback.. Good or bad :)

As the eagle swooped down toward the valley, beams and flickers of light pushed through the lush, green overgrown forest below. The other birds fluttered away panicking at the sight of the eagle, fearing it's presence. It's deep dark eyes scanning the land beneath, bringing with it from behind clouds of darkness and lightning, interrupting the calmness of the egg yoke orange sky ahead. No, something wasn't quite right about this creature, the way it moved, the way it squawked and brought with it an unnatural feeling.This creature was evil,maybe possessed by the evil of the world ready to do harm to all that was good.But it was just a bird, a creature that could be taken down by just an arrow. Not much of a threat, so the other song birds carried on singing, and the dark clouds in the distance were maybe the sign of a little rain to come.But this bird, this mysetrious creature stalking
the sky, it began to make the ground shake. The leaves and branches on trees began to
rustle and snap, the sky was getting darker.The earth began to rumble, dust and rocks
vibrating and clicking and cracking, something was moving below, within the overgrown
forest. The birds had stopped singing, they were all gone, this wasn't a peaceful place
anymore. The forest was coming to a halt, a large stretch of a field followed after.. and 
Figures exited from the trees, weilding fiery torches and swords, marching and chanting.
They seemed small in number at first, but more and more siluoettes crept out of the forest,
this wasn't some small group, this was an Army, The eagle a scout for the demon lord
Demicrax himself....

 

Looking down upon the village from the hillside, perched beneath an old oak tree, Ryn
was reflecting on life, gazing up at the bright stars dotted around the jet black night
sky. "What do you thinks out there Oren? Beyond our village?" Ryn asked, turning to his
older brother, his wavey light brown hair being pushed by the gentle breeze. Oren looked
beyond the village, scanning the landscape full of other hillsides and mountains poking up
from the horizon. "Don't worry little brother, one day you will come of age to venture out
on your own and experience the wilds yourself... But once you do, you won't return the
same." Oren replied, biting down on a blood red apple. Ryn turned his head to look at Oren,
confused. "I don't understand? Father used to always tell us stories of magical creatures,
cities that float and have populations of all different races, living side by side one
another? And villages similair to ours but full of magic and happiness?"As Ryn said this
he crawled through the grass towards his brother, hoping for a meaningful answer."Ryn...
what you need to realise is that times change. Father used to tell us those stories when we were alot younger, twelve years ago to be precise. Alot can happen in twelve years, those stories father used to tell us were without a doubt true.. and those stories are what people hold on to and hope to some day happen once Again." Oren replied, standing up and brushing the dirt and grass from his fur coat. "You see that large fort over there, at the end of the lorkath river?" Oren said, pointing out into the distance. The fort stood at the tip of a mountain, able to overlook hundreds of miles and attack oncoming enemies before they'd even see it. A perfect advantage point, but if the enemy had managed to gain control, they could use it against unsuspecting villages and towns."That fort there is where father fought against the evil forces of Demilon, where he pushed back Demicrax and brought peace to our land. Since that day, we haven't had any problems, although everywhere else has. I think they've left us be because of the courage father shown, that Demicrax believed father earned his respect.. That's what i like to think anyway." Oren said, flinging his rucksack onto his back. Ryn jumped up from the grass, eyes still fixed on the dark grey fort in the distance. "So is that where father died?" Ryn asked, following Orens lead down the hill. "No brother, it's where he lived."

The End

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