Sometimes an office gets a little too boring...
This is a story of a man called fred, his real name is george…but fred sounds better.now fred, he walks into his office and sits at his desk,he pulls his rolling chair forward, pulls 3 meticulously sharpened penclis from his top drawer as well as half a dozen crisp peices of loose leaf paper from the bottom.
these pencils are nothing special, just standard hb2 pencils purchased at staples, and the paper...it's nothing special either, just your run of the mill paper that is soo thin that you can see the margin of the opposite side without holding the paper up to the light. all in all, everything was 100% bonafide average.
now fred , he clearly works in an office, he has a slow and monotonous job as a financial advisor that nobody listens to and yet they keep around because it makes the company look good. he doesnt have much work in a day and he cant leave the building, so he has to find some way to pass the time…the way he does this is by drawing, fred isnt really a good drawer, he cant do much more than stick men, but that doesnt stop him.
today he felt ready to boldly go where no man has gone before...he drew a french moustache on his stick man...(dun...dun...dun...) at this moment something very queer happened. this french stickman of fred's came to life. This had nothing to do with the fact that fred hadnt slept in days…or that he had a few too many drinks that morning. This stick man didnt really do much, just walk back and forth...at this point in time fred declared, rather surprised"now that isnt something you see everyday." and he went on to draw another stick man, this time with a goatee. these stick men didnt get along well at all...they started fighting.strangely enough stick men are quite good at kung fu. apparently the french one had a switch blade on him and he used it to decapitate the other one, again...apparently stick men can cut off heads with a self-created knife.(if you dont agree with what i say, then too bad, i dont see you making up stick man physics.)
fred yelped in surprise upon seeing this gruesome crime take place…even if it was on paper. and in one swift motion grabbed the piece of paper,crumpled it up, and threw it into the waste bin beside his desk.
He decided to start anew on the next piece of paper, but this time he decided NO STICK PEOPLE!(they were much too aggressive.)this time he drew a BIG box. Upon finishing this box an elelphant stomped out of it. Fred was rather dumbstruck because he was wanting to draw an elephant, but he didn’t know how. So feeling rather proud of his creation, he decided to draw a landscape to put it in, the only place he had ever seen an elephant was in a zoo…so he began to scribble in a zoo behind the elephant, but wait. Elephants don’t run free in a zoo, they are put on display.so with great reluctance he drew a cage around his elephant( oooohh….how it howled in protest!!!!!)
After setting aside this creation, he began to feel like a god, an evil god, but still a god.(remember, he was drunk) and he quickly became guilty for all the horror and sadness he had just created.(I’m surprized he hadnt passed out from alcohol poisoning by now)so for his third and final picture he drew a simple circle,and upon looking at the world map on his wall he attempted to re-create a model of the earth.this “earth” didn’t turn out so well, it looked like something my little sister would draw.
Once finished, fred felt soo proud of his masterpeice( he really had to go to an art gallery more often.)that he picked up a picture frame off his desk, removed the family portrait from it, and in place of the portrait he put hie earth.
To this day, everytime someone walks into his office they stop and stare dumbstruck at this framed piece of lined paper with a sad excuse for a drawing on it.after a long and uncomfortable pause his visitors would ask ”what is the purpose of having that rubbage on your desk ?” so with a mean glare or three, fred declares quite imperically “this is my kingdom and I am its ruler.” To which his rather irritable guest would ask “you rule over a piece of paper?did you forget to take your sanity pill this morning?” with fred’s patience wearing thin, he raises his voice. “no I do not rule over a piece of paper! I am a creator of planets! A god…”
His visitors would laugh ”if you truly were a god wouldn’t you do more than just watch?”
Fred stands up “no, I would not! gods do not meddle, gods proudly observe their creations grow and learn, not step in and treat everybody as if they were merely children!” at this point, his visitors would usually call him crazy and walk out the door.
Now alone in his office with nothing but his little drawing to keep him company, he pulls out his pencil and paper once more and lets his imagination run wild.