'Ahh my love,' thought Sly.
'What? She's not my love,' he replied inside his head. 'Why did I just say that?'
'Shh, will you? You are ruining this moment for us.'
"Oh how i've missed you, my Cassie." The words fell out of his mouth and inside he gasped 'What the bloody hell is going on here?!'
'I said SHH!'
Then it clicked.
"What did you say, honey?" Cassandra's muffled voice rose from his chest.
"Nothing, my sweet," Sly2 responded before adding internally 'Will you be more careful? Jesus.'
'Look, this is quite uncomfortable for me, aaaarghhhh..actually,' Sly thought, as she ran her hand slowly down his body, and went to grab her hand.
'Oh no you don't, pal,' Sly2 interjected, stopping his hand mid swipe. 'It's been a long time since I last felt a woman's touch.'
'That's it, baby...'
"I...urgh... I'll be right... right back..." Sly squawked, fumbling his pants closed and staggering off in the direction of the men's toilet.
"Honey?" she called after him, taking a tentative step forward.
"NO! I'll...I'll just be a minute," he cried before stumbling through the door and landing on the thankfully imagined-clean floor.
"you bas..." loud banging from upstairs silenced him. "You muppet. Do you know how long it's been?!" he drew them to their feet and looked into sole intact mirror. "15 years, that's how long!"
"15? You... were 8?!"
"Okay, Cluedo, it's been 2 years, but still. Felt like 15."
"Oh, okay... good... good." Sly couldn't help feeling better that the alternate him wasn't bumping uglies back when he was bumping into girl's and going "urgh!"
"Well, it wasn't for lack of trying," Sly2 answered, reading his internal thoughts, "I was quite the randy child. I remember one day when Mrs Miggins dropped her pencil and.."
"Enough! I'm starting to regret diving into your body... i'm starting to have fears over where it's been."
"Well, I guess we have to come to some sort of compromise... well, that or a fight to the death. I'm fine with either really."
At that moment, Moonwalker stumbled into the toilet, saw Sly standing there and cried out "Oopshh... shhoorry.. wrong.. wrong one.." She started to turn to leave when Sly1 or 2, i'm not sure which, called out after her.
"Wait, Moon... actually can you help us... me, i mean, with something?"
"Shh...sure, dear... *hic* You know, I'm having the Irishhhh Coffee again... *hic*"
The Slys watched her swaying in front of them and went internal again.
'So we're agreed?' Sly1.
'Yeah, okay. I mean, you know you're going to lose, don't you? I was B Wing's Dancing Queen for 2 years running'
'That's way too much information!'
'Whatever, loser. Whoever wins the dance competition gets full access to the body Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, with the loser getting Monday Tuesday and Thursdays? Is that right?'
'That's right pal.'
And so they danced. They danced and danced until Moon sobered up enough to actually see them dancing, and then they danced some more, until she finally declared the winner.
"Well, the winner is Sly," she said somewhat bemused, "Seeing as you're the only one in this competition. Actually, I bet I can give you a run for your money." She started to bump and grind.
"Look, no, stop dancing... although that is pretty good," One of the Sly's spoke, and Sly1 had to fight Sly2 from dancing up to her. "I'm going to do two dances. Can you tell me which one is the best. One or two?"
"Oh, okay, go on then," she replied, taking seat on one of the toilets. "Dance away, young man."
And so they danced again. They danced with such intensity and ingenuity that new moves were created and even they had to applaud each other at the end.
"So, who... I mean, which dance won?"
Two minutes later, the victorious Sly emerged in control from the toilet, a knowing smile on his face.