The Storytellers' Tale

Moonwalker looked up from the table in the hotel California, and gazed around the mostly empty room. She couldn't tell if it was day or night, because this place was far underground at the end of a long scary tunnel. Mama Cass was crooning,"California Dreamin'". John Lennon was at the piano, and Elvis was sitting at the end of the stage, with his legs hanging down. This was the gorgeous young Elvis, not the fat addict that he was when he died. A number of other dead rock stars were milling about the stage. Moon sat up, Stretched, and noticed for the fist time that there was a man sitting across the table from her, tapping away at a laptop. "Who are you,? she asked. "I am the storyteller," he said. "oh. What's happening, where is everybody?" That is what I'm trying to determine he said, as he continued to type. I'm writing down a brief synopsis of the storyline of the Protagonizer pub so far. After I save to My Documents, I'll be able to figure who's doing what to whom, and where it's being done. "Good idea. May I see?" as she reached for the laptop. He handed it over, and she began to read.

THE PROTAGONIZE PUB STORYLINE   CHAPTERS 1-66

  • The pub is a western style saloon called The oak tree pub. Sly is the bartender in western gear, waiting for customers
  • The pub becomes an Irish themed watering hole. Sly becomes O'Shea. Mckenzie, a detective for Scotland Yard comes in looking for Killer Kellan,  who is wanted for the murder of Nick Bouton.
  • Kellan comes out of the corner, says he didn't kill Nick, he just helped in the planning
  • A group of ladies at a table, including Big Redhead and Anastasia watch the walking corpse of Nick come in with the Frenchman, the Slasher of Quebec
  • O'shea reaches for a gun from under the counter, but it becomes A Sony Ericson K800i. (Whatever that may be)
  • Rose/redhead runs to the bathroom, where she meets  Archi Teuthis, who has an old book for the dead Nick
  • New character,  Kevichella comes in. Sly / O'Shea becomes a KFC clerk
  • Archi takes the old book to the dead Nick, trying to get him to read it. She hopes it will bring him back to life
  • Sly grabs the keyboard of the Sony Ericson, and turns the pub into a desert by mistake
  • McKenzie grabs the phone and requests the return of The Oak Tree Pub. A band appears in the corner, and Nick is alive again
  • A  Young English lass  comes in. There is a poker game involving everyone in the bar. An argument ensues. Sly pulls out a tiny revolver. Everyone else pulls out guns
  • No body's gun works except Sly and Nick's . They face off
  • Sly's tiny revolver erupts and shoots a band member
  • A new character, The Mist hovers in the rafters, observing everything
  • A new Character, Bucknuk  arrives.  Sly is suddenly wearing an Edmonton OIlers jersey, and a ball cap
  • The bar becomes a strip club with a pole coming out of the floor. Sly the bartender becomes a well endowed woman named Daisy O'Shea
  • New characters,  Eloosive and Joe arrive. Joe is an ugly dwarf. Eloosive send him into a broom closet
  • New character, Bella Pleasance  arrives, lets Joe out of the broom closet
  • The bar becomes a boxing ring, and a boxing match between Bella and Kevichella. Bella wins.  Things change back to the pub again.
  • Anastasia turns Bella into an old crone. Joe knocks Nick,(who is dead again) onto the floor
  • New character,  Moonlit man arrives
  • The bar becomes a dance club with Electrinica playing
  • New character, Rocklobster / Gemma dances for everyone in a ring on the dance floor
  • Kevichella / Kevin drunkenly tries to sing some Beatles tunes, while the others drink and chat
  • The real Sly / O'shea arrives with people from the Viking Press, to change the pub into an 80's sports bar.
  • Construction begins, Ajuke box is moved, a huge hole in the floor is discovered, with steps going down into it
  • New character  Redhat, is in the bathroom stuffing narcotics up his nose
  • Sly becomes very upset,(with good reason) that multiple authors keep turning him into different things, including a woman
  • Now there's a new Sly O'Shea. He kicks the impostor down into the hole, clicks his fingers, and the hole disappears
  • He kicks out the workmen, and returns the pub to its original setting
  • All the women are suddenly wearing low cut Victorian gowns, and Kevichella is playing the piano
  • The Moonlit man / Marc plays black jack with Gemma, Nick plays the fiddle
  • The pub becomes  The paisley and peppermint pub
  • Nick, apparently alive again, becomes a disco king,leading his gang, The dead poets society
  • Kevichella is the leader of  The prose boys club. They face off against the dance floor
  • A chainsaw rips a big hole in the dance floor,, Joe falls in. Sly2 comes out of the hole with the chainsaw, threatens Sly1 with it. Sly1 dives into Sly2's chest. There is only one Sly again, the original
  • The two gangs lean over the hole, arguing in rhyme and prose
  • There are moans from below, and Mist and  Kevichella go down to investigate
  • They find two graves with head stones, one has a periscope coming out of it
  • The story finally has a plot...and a sub plot
  • There is suddenly  two Kellans. One shoots the other, and there is one again
  • Bucknuk urinates down into the hole in the floor. Mist and Kevichella object as they come back up
  • Archi, (who originaly had the old book) translates  the Latin on the two graves. One has Sly's name on it, the other says that the book makes some wise, and others insane
  • A tunnel appears
  • Several patrons stare down the hole where the periscope becomes an umbrella, and then a flashlight
  • The Mist says it must be Inspector Gadget in the grave. Everyone wants to be different characters to do with Inspector Gadget
  • Redhat surmises that the book on the grave is the same book that Archi gave to Nick
  • Archi, who is down in the hole, encourages everyone to follow her down the tunnel
  • The Frenchman levitates near the ceiling and points a finger at Mist, and proclaims, "I'll swallow your  soooooul!"
  • Nick throws the book at the Frenchman, it misses and hits a new character, Moonwalker as she comes in. She picks it up, and it glows
  • Sly, Kevichella, Mist, Moonwalker, Redhat and Archi head down the tunnel
  • The Mist is sucked down the tunnel
  • Olius Brightwell / Newcomer  shows up
  • Moon walks with Archi and explains that the book glows because her eyesight sucks, and she make things glow to see them better
  • The end of the tunnel becomes The hotel California , with dead rock stars as the band. People gather in the new bar
  • A contributor complains about the story getting silly with two bars, no story arc, foreshadowing, denouement or climax
  • As the original author of the pub, Sly freezes all the characters and speaks directly to the writers. He says that the whole idea of the pub was to have fun.  Creating a plot or story doesn't work. The dynamics of the pub is to create whatever pops into your head when you walk in. The moral is to disobey the rules. Sly likes eccentricity. He unfreezes the characters
  • Sly and Bucknuc watch hockey. The Frenchman falls from the ceiling. Bucknuk snaps fingers, Frenchman becomes sand. The hole closes up.
  • Bella wonders about her friends int he tunnel
  • Bucknuk says that Mist has a powerful mind, and can reopen the hole
  • There is a quake at the Hotel California when the hole closes up
  • Moonwalker wonders what's going on. Mist goes to investigate, and punches a hole in the floor of the pub
  • The Mist returns to the hotel to tell the others that they're watching hockey upstairs at the pub
  • Kevichella / Kevin dances with Bella. She thinks she likes him. She doesn't. She hits him with her handbag
  • New characters come in, Clare and Rob. Rob is a big guy who talks to his shopping bag. Clare is looking for Henry
  • A walking Wall of Muscle, a bear of a man comes in looking for Rose. Sly, Redhat and the newcomer / Ollie deny knowing her
  • A Russian named Konstantine Konstativich (Kostya) comes in looking for one eyed Jack
  • Cassandra comes in, checks out the pub. She isn't impressed, exits. Sly thinks she's trouble
  • Sly goes outside, worrying about the real owners showing up at midnight. The pub goers had caused a lot of damage to the floor and interior fittings.
  • He is hit in the head by a small UFO
  • Cassandra comes back, thanks him for the light humour
  • Rose and Anastasia try to make sense of the long storyline.
  • they were confused, they weren't sure which bar they were in
  • Shift to a new venue. A laundromat next door to the pub
  • 2 new characters, Edna and Diana  discuss their husbands' laundry. A fat man is also there, watching his dryer. It has 3 pistols, a machine gun, and a severed head in it
  • The fat man chases away the two women
  • A tall man, Konstantine and Wall of Muscle come in. They discuss the new hallucinogens that they've been trying out on the patrons in the pub next door, presumably the Protagonizer Pub
  • Sly comes in on crutches. He props up his wounded leg and puts a gel pack on it
  • Kostya / Konstatine comes in. He is mow a vampire. He suggests the Sly should hire some help. A new barmaid suddenly appears
  • Kellen is back at the hotel. He tells the others that there's a vodka drinking vampire upstairs
  • He gets sick to his stomach and runs to the bathroom
  • While he's in there, another Kellan shows up with a bullet hole in the head
  • Cassandra comes in. Talks to Sly. She'd been crying
  • Roses husband come in and asks Rose why she ran away. She couldn't stand the "let's make a baby" talk anymore
  • Cassandra is in a room facing a wall. She's awaiting punishment from her mother for sneaking out to visit the humans. Her mother says that she can't see Sly again
  • Archi is back in the hotel bathroom, trying to teleport on a toilet. She breaks into rhyme. Sly objects to changing the genre. Redhat comments on the poem
  • The clock strikes midnight
  • A head appears over the ridge of the hole that had been reopened by Mist
  • New characters, Marquis de DVR, and the Duchy of Roaches , climb out of the hole. They're looking for Archi. She owes them a story
  • Anastasia and Konstantine are sitting on the couch. Anastasia says that the real owners were supposed to show up at midnight
  • The Marquis de DVR says, "How do you know that we're not the owners?' Sly says that if so, they'll have to pay for the damages to the pub
  • Anastasia and Rose get together to write a chapter, but can't really tie down a storyline
  • The door blows open. A new character named  C  appears behind everyone, carrying a paper bag
  • He confuses Kostya and Archi with his prose. He goes to the bar, orders whiskey
  • C is now talking to a woman bartender in a new bar called The Lazy sleuth It's a quiet bar with a 1950's motif. This setting is to remain the same. It can't be constantly changed like The Protagonizer Pub
  • Rose and Anastasia leave the pub. Sly is still on crutches. He serveys the damage done to the bar by the patrons
  • He looks at the bar, and it is sporting every reincarnation of Sly as the bartender. He needs a break. He goes to the door to get his coat. Poor dead Nick is now a coat rack
  • Sly leaves the pub and wanders into the Lazy Sleuth. He meets C. They introduce themselves.
  • Mist goes into the Protag bar, pushing past Bella and Sly.
  • The newcomer (Ollie) and Forrest( Moonlit man) are stacking glasses on  Nick's head'
  • Mist goes to the bar, waits for the barmaid who is talking to a new character, Seldom . Mist becomes annoyed at waiting, and a new, polite bartender appears to serve Mist
  • He asks the barman to call him Rich. Rich begins complaining about a teenage birthday party at another bar. They didn't serve alcohol for the ones that were of age. So they all ended up in Mist/ Rich's bar. They caused a lot of trouble
  • A new character,  Carla comes in looking for her sister, Cassandra. She tries to get Cassandra to come home, but she won't go.

Moonwalker put the laptop back down on the table. You do realize of course, that several more chapters have been written since we've been sitting here. These writers are nothing but prolific.  " that's true, but I'm going to keep track of the chapters, and after about 25 new ones, I'll do a synopsis. Ill be the Protagonizer pub archivist. " Sounds like a plan," Moon said as she put her head down on her arms and went to sleep.

 

The End

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