Urgh! Arrgh urgh!

Sly watched as the comedic chaos unfolded. Nicks corpse flopped about at the doorway, followed suit by the french guy who's yet to have said anything; all in all causing a hell of a ruckus.

Out of the washroom came a woman, dressed like someone from a tacky fifties horror flick and walking awkwardly on heels.

She passed directly by Kevichella who was standing near the pool table, his piano having disappeared.

"Helooo!" she said in an exaggeratedly deep voice, waving at the bar as she walked past, stumbling on her way. She went straight for Nick who still stood in the doorway, a lifeless object. "Here I brought the book you were asking about!" she said, handing it to him.

Nick's arms remained at his sides, his gaze fogged and unmoving.

"Oh... yeah, forgot you're dead." she said as she grabbed his hand and lifted it, putting the book in it's limp palm. 

As she let it go his arm fell limp once again and the book tumbled to the floor. "For crying out loud! You can design and manage an awesome website but can't stay alive long enough to enjoy it can you! Now put your freaking hand out!" She said, grabbing the book from the ground. "If you can stand you can grab this, now come on, really you'll feel better afterwards."

Nicks head dropped, his eyes peering emptily at the ancient text. "Uugh."

"Wow, best line of the night!" Archi said, laughing. "Now read it."

His hand flapped at the cover wildly, "Ugh."

"Come on, am I going to have to do this all myself?" She opened the cover and held the page so that he could see it.

Nick began to read, "Ugh... ugh, arrgh. Ugh."

"In your head Nick, the death moans are annoying." AnastasiaJ quipped from the table as Big Redhead returned from the washroom and sat beside her.

"So what's going on? Just a second a go the place was terrified.

"Well, looks like everyones calmed down and Archi's gotten him reading bed time stories or something." Answered Anastasia.

"Urgh, arrrgh urgh *HACK*"

"I said in your head!" She shouted.

Nick looked over to her from the book and made an annoyed expression as best as his bloated corpse face could manage, then returned to the text. "Urgh..."

Anastasia slapped her hand against her forehead. "Oh I give up. How long is this thing!"

"Well..." Archi answered, looking at the book in her hands. "I don't know how much he needs to read before it kicks in." She said.

"You know what!" Sly yelled from the other side of the room.

The corpse looked up from the book, and all those in the room turned to him as well.

"Wow... that really got their attention." Sly said, dumbfound.

"Well you are the narrator." Kellan added.

NO! I'm the narrator!

"Oh god no!" Don't let him get control we'll lose everybody!" Sly yelled frantically, his arms flailing as he grabbed the Sony Ericson, flipping it open and jamming his fingers into the keys. "Come on this has got to be able to do something!" He yelled as he continued pounding on the keypad.

Suddenly the scene completely changed. Anastasia, Rose, and Kellan fell to the sand, their chairs no longer there as they found themselves in an endless desert.

Sly was wide eyed. "Oh crap, wrong button... Hey Mack, how come you didn't fall? Weren't you on a stool?"

"I saw it coming." McKenzie said, grabbing the phone from Sly's hands. "Now give me this." He tapped in a few numbers and the phone rang. "Hello? Yes I'd like to return to the Oak Pub. No, I don't want a free paperweight... Thank you. Good night."

The scene suddenly returned to the pub, yet now Archi was no longer in her disguise, Nick was alive, and a band had appeared in the corner.

"Dude... where are we?" One of the musicians asked.

Kevichella frowned, "Wasn't that my job?"

"Shut up and play something" McKenzie quipped, handing the phone back to Sly as he tugged a puff of smoke through the neck of his pipe. "Always need me to fix your problems don't you O'Shea."

"You've gotta stop calling me that."

The End

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