Nolee,Bridgette and Jeremy are all cousins who are forced to go to Uncle Marty's wedding in America.When the trio stick together,they uncover secrets many of the guests are hiding-and plan to exploit them!
On the 29th of May 2009,my mother dropped a bombshell of a surprise that forced me to reconsider whether I was adopted.
It all started a week earlier.
Mum and Dad had told me that I was in for a surprise and would be told when I finished school for the summer holidays.I wasn't expecting much.If it was to go by my previous "surprises" at my birthdays and Christmas,then I would be severely disappointed(It has taken me six months to get over my Christmas present-Hannah Montana DVD boxset.I only asked for The Silence of The Lambs on DVD,that's all.)
Due to my lack of enthusiasm for the upcoming treat,I totally forgot about it for the rest of the week.Until that dreadful,dreadful day.
I had been on a high.I had just officially finished my first year of secondary school and I was pleased,mainly because from now on I wouldn't be considered a baby anymore by the older classes(second years are considered toddlers).I had finished a gruelling week of the horrors known as summer tests and was going to relax in front of the laptop watching hilarious videos on Youtube with Snow Patrol playing in the background.But I never did get round to doing my plans.Because Mum had called me into the sitting room the minute I stepped foot inside the house.
"Been waiting for your surprise?"Mum asked me.Dad was still at work.
"Oh golly yes I have,"I replied with dry sarcasm as I slipped into the armchair in front of Mum.I could tell by her face that she wanted to lecture me to death on my " rudeness" but she resisted.
"Well,here it is!You're going to America!"
I couldn't believe it.I was going to the land of dreams,where cool people such as Johnny Depp and Meryl Streep lived and worked in really cool and awesome movies.I got up from the armchair and did a little cheesy dance around the sitting room.
Mum ruined the moment."Honey,I'm not finished yet."
I stopped,took a deep a breath and sat down in the armchair,hoping that the next piece of the surprise would be that I was going to meet Johnny Depp and star opposite him in his next movie(I am very cynical but when it comes to the love of my life I dream a little).
It wasn't meant to be.
"We're attending Uncle Marty's wedding!Aren't you excited?"
I felt deflated.First of all,I hate weddings.You fuss and preen and gloss and doll yourself up just for one night where the music at the reception consist of extremely mortifying songs(I could never repress the memory of Grandma Lily shaking her "booty" to Ice Ice Baby at Aunt Maggie's wedding)and the food is extremely posh.The actual church sacrament always bore me to death.It's not that I'm an atheist or something;I am a Catholic but I just don't have the attention span for mass.I am only 13 years old,and too young and interesting to be actually interested in the Gospels.Maybe in a couple of years but not now.
And second,Uncle Marty is the worst uncle you could get.He is a chauvinistic pig who wears a moustache and has a pot belly.He is not a pretty sight.He has already been married four times so I don't know which "lucky" floozy he's marrying next.Probably some mail order bride from the Soviet Union.
Or a Las Vegas stripper.
But anyway.It was surprising that Uncle Marty was actually holding a proper ceremony.Usually he eloped to Las Vegas to get married with his former wives with a priest dressed as Elvis hitching the couple.
Uncle Marty is not the traditional type.Trust me.
So there I was,deflated,collapsed in the hideously coloured armchair that I sat in front of The Devil.I lied quietly to her,"I'm going to have a shower."
And ran out of the room.