A soft stirring of anger, light fluttering of leaves in my stomach, sweat coating my palms. Eyes being burned by salt and sadness, skin assaulted by pin pricks of goosebumps. Everywhere there is something changing, something morphing into a thing, a thought, a feeling. Too many emotions, thoughts to write down, to describe.
If I were to open my mind and bare my soul, it would not be enough to show you how I feel, how I think, why I do what I do. The emotions swirling, tumbling, crashing through our minds, our hearts, cannot be understood. We try to understand and make sense of our lives. The meaning of life, we try to make sense, but it's no use. We are not meant to understand, we are meant to just live, to enjoy life with such intensity, such feeling.
The pain, the smell, the sound of life is what we should concentrate on, without too much thought. Just live and feel the smoothness of the frayed edges, the rough quality of our voices. Our voices intertwined together to make music. Music to express our inner storm of feelings, thoughts, and actions. What we can't express with words, we express with actions, and what we can't express with actions, we express with ideas.
Think of love, faith, hope, sadness, hatred, fear, loyalty, and belonging. We have all of these things inside of us, disguising themselves or baring themselves for us to look upon and transform into a sculpture, a song, a painting, a book, a sentence. We have all these things floating, waiting to be used and described. Imagine a ball, filled with all sizes and shapes, all colors and textures, all voices and chimes; everything from a mouse to the sky.
A blade of grass, a birds call, the soft gust of wind that a smell floats on, reminding us of home or freedom. Everyone feels different about everything and anything. Look around you, soak in all the beauty and smell the fragrance of nature. Do you not see how complicated and intricate a design such as life is? Do you think this world of life happened by chance, by accident? Are you naïve enough to believe that this world is not planned?
You have been misled, confused, because you do not know. My friend, we are not accidents, we are made, purposefully created a certain way. A loving God has made us, created us with a certain care that we choose to ignore and recognize. Next time you are outside and wandering, stop, take a look around, really study your surroundings. Even if you think you know your surroundings like the back of your hand, study it, because all the beauty, all the natural, glorious beauty you see was on purpose.