I guess I'm no longer angry with the things I could never control. I was, oh Fudge, angry with everything. Everyone and everything, but I can't change the past. No one can change the past, no matter how hard they try and try. At our very best, we seem to know only that we are humans and that we make mistakes. Yes, we make mistakes, and yes, we are humans, but that doesn't permit us to make them.
You see, we have this idea in our heads that making mistakes is okay because we are humans and no human is perfect. So we think it's okay, but deep down, we know that it's not okay. We know, and frankly, we just don't care. If we did care, then you'd think we wouldn't make so many mistakes. If you think that, then you're quite mistaken. Nawh, life is full of mistakes and foolish assumptions. The best we can do isn't even adequate for... well, anything.
Really, people can't do anything right. We think we can do life on our own, can be a good person, a good mom, brother, sister, husband, wife, dad, daughter, son, etc. The key word is think. We're wrong about that. So, so wrong, that we just... I don't know. We forget why we were even created. That makes me angry, only because I've done the same thing. Sometimes I hate myself and feel so much like crap.
Who doesn't feel like that? Those rare people who truly are awesome, I suppose. Every teenage girl that I know feels like that, though. That's one of the things that I dislike about myself. I hate being mean and I hate being a hypocrite. I hate not having words to express all of the emotions that tumble and churn inside of my mind. I hate never feeling good enough at anything. It's like I might think that I'm finally decent at something and then it's all shot.
I'm being a bit dramatic, but that's what teenagers are good for, right? No, I change my mind. I really have nothing to complain about. I suck. BLEH. Complete useless rambling is all this is about. Maybe I don't care if people read this or ever think I'm interesting; maybe I do. I'm done with this page. There is no more nothingness that I have to write.