'Look, but don't look'
Utterly befuddled, George tried to preoccupy himself with work for the rest of the morning. With some success: the work was nothing if not mind-numbing. Opening up an excel document on his cubicle’s PC, he started the reformatting of some accounts he’d been forestalling for some weeks now. Painstakingly dull as they were, there were at least formulae determining where everything belonged on the spreadsheets. He soon lost himself in the numbers. But lunch-time rolled around soon enough and – no sooner had he logged-off his PC – George found he could once again think of nothing but that door.
Sidling towards the water-cooler – perfunctory smile as Jocelyn swept busily past – George stopped and squinted. He could see the door quite clearly; no question of that. But there was something slightly odd about it. Of course, it’s just being there was odd, but there was something else.
George took a step backwards and cocked his head to an angle. It wasn’t that the colour and texture of the door was incongruous with its surroundings. If anything, the doorway was particularly smoothly rounded into the wall; almost seamlessly so. But it just didn’t look right. It was something like the sensation George had experienced whenever he had tried to look into those 3-D pictures that everyone had been so excited about a few years ago. The ones you had to ‘look at, but not look at’. George had always found this advice particularly unhelpful; alternating between squinting and gazing blankly at the computer generated squares and experiencing nothing but a mildly disorientating awareness of there being something just beyond his field of perception.
And that was what he was experiencing now.
Until his concentration was unceremoniously broken.
‘GEORGIE-BOY!’
Bill had leapt in front of the door, and was staring rather strangely at George. It took a moment for George to realise that Bill was mimicking him.
‘What the frack are you looking at Georgie-boy? You look like you’re really getting into that wall!’
George blinked the squint out of his eyes; re-orientating on Bill.
‘Not the wall, Bill, the door. I’m looking at the door.’
Bill shared a sidelong glance with Fiona, who George now noticed standing on the far-side of the water-cooler. He looked back at George, eyebrows raised.
‘O-k-ay then! The door! He's getting into the door’
‘You’ve just got to look… but not look…’ George tailed-off.
‘Right George look but not look… helpful advice! Maybe I'll try that tonight George… and maybe you could write a book about it?!’
Bill and Fiona walked off laughing, leaving George by himself again, staring at the door. But something Bill had just said stayed with him











All together now: "Slacker!""
Anyways now I'm going off on a tangent. Very well written, you put a lot of effort into your craft. I wish I cared as much as you when writing on this site, but to me all this is just a game to hone my skills.
When it comes to real writing, I always edit the draft at least ten times before letting anyone....tangent again.
Great story, I'll post a branch when I get a chance, and don't worry I will care a little."
Agree writing is fantastic. It sort of reminds me a bit of Tom Holt - only better to be honest. Don't know why youre still here Fal because everything you've donme so far is publishable. If you've been sending it off then you've been really unlucky. And if not why not!!!
I know about this, I worked in the book industry for a couple of years.
:)"
However, I can't hold it against you - most times (at least in my case) it takes months before I release something I've written to the public. There's always something to correct in a story. Always.
Good work though. Loving everything so far.""
Although it was my intention to accelerate it to make the character seem desperate enough to do what he did.
Still fairly new to writing, so bear with me and please, don't hesitate to criticize my stories/branches/chapters in detail. It helps me tremendously.
Thanks Pinch :)"
Thanks for your candor."
Otherwise, once it gets going, the tension lifts ncely again, and it's a very tantalising cliffhanger."
Also, there are some odd turns of phrase that stick out awkwardly. Not sure this effort has helped the story."
I appreciated the feedback. Thanks again."
Please continue, Fal, and I'll try to get into your mindset to write another chapter too."
Love the intrusion of the weird into the everyday setting. Great characters being built up too.
:) Intriguing definitley"
There will be more!"
I've book marked the page, and look forward to your next installment :)"