I really don't know why it's being written, maybe for absolution.
First off, I guess anyone's guess as to why I'm writing this is as good as my own. I'm writing this to say goodbye to you. Yes you, you know exactly who you are.
The one who went away, the sad girl, Icarus' girl. I'm writing this letter to you so maybe I can finally get a real night sleep and move on with my life. I've been running for so long I don't really know why anymore. I've wandered in and out of lives that I feel I'm merely wearing a mask to fit in when I'd rather run free, be wild. Most of them never earned my trust, much less my companionship. I've never trusted easily since you went away.
You went away, I'm still angry at that. When you had so many people who loved and cared for you. You did something so fucking selfish and gave up. You thought you were nothing more then a tiny stone in the world, yet you created a ripple in my life I still can't figure out how to fix. How can I let anyone in my life when they can just remove themself again so easily.
Just like you.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry I never saw the signs, I'm sorry I never chose to fix them, I'm sorry I project your actions to everyone else. I'm sorry can only carry over so many times before I wonder if I can lose the meaning. So I've stopped being sorry, it won't change a thing. It hurts to know that I'm still here playing the same song and you're never going to hear it. The first issue of my comic you will never read. You were a first for one thing, but I realize there are too many other firsts to deny because you went away.
I miss you, you will always be my first love. However, you will not be my last.
I forgive you, I hope this letter gives us both the peace we need.