All You Can Eat Pancakes

Morning burst through the curtains in my apartment, shattering a very detailed dream I had been having about Vincent Gallo singing to me in a smokey night club.

I reached for my cell phone and my plaid bathrobe that I had stolen from my dad before leaving for college. I dialed Vicki’s number and shuffled my way into the kitchen to get some chocolate chip toaster waffles started.

"Mara?" The voice on the other line was cracked, as if it was straining to make a sound.

"Vick?" I said, unsure, "You hungover?" I walked into the living room and checked on the sleeping figure on the couch.

"No I am not hungover!" Vicki said loudly into my ear.

"Shh!" I warned, "You’ll wake up Ethan."

"I…wait, who’s Ethan? I thought your cat was named Severin?" Vicki questioned.

"Severin ran away four months ago," I said, as the waffles popped up happily in the toaster. I quickly shoved one into my mouth as I paced the kitchen.

"You had a guy over last night?" Vicki questioned.

"These are good waffles."

"Wait, when did this all happen?" Vicki pressured.

"Well, obviously last night, Vick. I went out…and I met Ethan. He’s a really deck guy, he works at that one place you hate. You know, Spin Records? Well, he came over and we started talking and well, yeah. Here we are," I explained.

"I can’t believe you let some strange guy sleep at your apartment," Vicki said.

"Wouldn’t be the first time," I scoffed, "Besides, we like, slept in two different rooms."

"Oh," Vicki sighed.

"Vick, what is it? You’ve been weird since yesterday," I said.

"Nothing," she replied.

"Oh, come on Vick," I pleaded, "I just know when something is up with you, I can just sense it."

"Since when?" She asked.

"Since when? My dear Vicki, since we were eight and Matt Hines stole my Wonder Woman Barbie and decapitated her and you kicked his ass for it. We became blood sisters that day. I think the mixing of the blood had some kind of crazy effect on us or something."



"You’re insane."

Vicki sniffled a little bit on the other line. I could hear the tv in the background.

"Are…are you watching Pretty Woman?" I accused.

"Yeah," Vicki said innocently.

"Oh my god, Vick. This is bad. I remember your mom used to watch that movie every time she broke up with one of her male model boyfriends. Which was pretty much the only time I ever saw that woman, come to think of it. She was gone so much…okay, sorry to bring up the neglectful supermodel mother thing again, but seriously. This is lame," I said.

"I’ll be okay," she said reassuringly, "Hey, I hear the doorbell, someone’s here I have to go."

"But I’m not done fixing you. There’s still about six gazillion Freudian analyzations I have to make on you that will probably just screw you up even worse," I argued.

"I really have to go," she said, "Bye."

"Lame," I said, setting my phone down. Ethan had woken up, and was looking a little dazed.

"Hey Ethan," I said walking into my bedroom with a toaster waffle in my hand.

I returned a few minutes later, holding my copy of Dead Sould that I was determined to finish. I stopped short due to the fact that the living room was eerily cleaner than usual and I could smell the distinct aroma of coffee wafting through the kitchen. Ethan was sipping a cup of coffee from my I Love Lucy mug, and he smiled when he saw me.

"I hope you don’t mind…" he started.

"Are you kidding? Give me some!" I said, grabbing a Farrah Fawcett mug and filling it full.

"Full grade Arabica, wow, you don’t cheap out on coffee," he said taking a big gulp.

"Yeah," I laughed, "Don’t tell anyone though, the people at the local diners might feel a little bad if they knew I was going behind their backs."

"Ah, yeah, there’s nothing like diner coffee," Ethan agreed, "Have you ever noticed that it tastes like cheap hotel soap?"

"You too?" My eyes brightened up a little bit, feeling the tingle of the caffiene buzzing in the back of my eye sockets. We laughed for a moment, in between sips of coffee.

"Don’t you have to work or something?" I asked.

"Day off."

"Good," I smiled, heading to my bedroom to change

I came out of my bedroom sometime later, this time fully dressed. Ethan was watching watching Down By Law, and I kind of laughed at the sight, knowing how that was my "I’m so depressed" movie.

"This is really a cool film," Ethan said, smiling at me.

"Yeah, I’m pretty much in love with Tom Waits. I would marry him in a heartbeat if it were the eighties," I said completely deadpan.

"Wow, lucky for me it isn’t the eighties then," Ethan said with a smirk.

"So you want to grab some breakfast?" I suggested.

"Didn’t we just eat a whole box of toaster waffles?" Ethan questioned.

"Yeah, well, that was kind of like, the pre-breakfast snack to you know, tide us over before all-you-can-eat pancake day at Joe’s Diner," I said.

"Wow, you really don’t kid around when it comes to breakfast," he laughed.

"Hey," I warned as I lowered my eyes, "You want to stuff your face with pancakes or not?"

"I’m in," he said, giving me a double thumbs up.

The End

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