This is where it gets a little hairy. No one's even sure if God remembers the way this one actually ends.
Lo, a narrative.
Lot did come down to Somora, after following three stars and did find Eve fornicating under a man named Jezzaby.
And Lot did tap Eve on the shoulder and Eve did frantically cover herself and did say "Who the f*ck are you?". And thus did Jezzaby sock Lot in the jaw and call him a lurker.
And Lo did Lot explain later to Eve that he had been sent from God to deliver a message and Eve did ask whether she was pregnant and thus did Lot say he would not be surprised but that was not his message.
And did Lot then plant the pill called E into Eve's pina colada.
And Eve did go apesh*t and hug Lot and they spent their days happily high. And then did Lot try to put Eve's hand under his vintage leather robe. And did Eve tell Lot that Lot was not her type and that they should be friends.
And Lot did ask Eve why not and Eve did say that Lot reminded her of an old ex. And Lot was dejected but still high. And thus then thou, Lo! did Lot convince Eve to get higher with him and thus they took the last of the pink pills and did get completely and utterly f*cking high.
And Eve was sad that the pills were gone and told Lot she wanted more and Lot did hesitate unti Eve did look at him with a look of sex, and then did Lot give Eve the entire secret to making the pink pills and thus did THEN! did Eve stop talking to Lot.
The town was boooooming! Men roamed the streets with mansheaths in hand like divining rods. Women adorned themselves with a cork and two feathers. Koala couples coplulated keenly. Aardvarks for some reason became popular housepets, and Lot made a point to never ask. It was one big viscous fornication bonanza and the streets flowed freely with the spooj of many. Manmilk splattered into the night like liquid firecrackers. Someone invented the term "goosing"
Eve managed to become pregnant seven times in one Sunday! She was not thrilled by the third delivery.
Anyhow, so here's where the tone changes. Lot, who is Adam, if you're still keeping track was hoppin' around with his own mansheath in hand enthusiastically asking anyone that would listen, "Hey, how about you touch my mansheath?" He would get responses like "No." And the "No" was promptly followed by a squeal of laughter. A girl wearing a button called him a "tard".
And then Lot was sad and went to his house on the edge of town and did lay down on his cornbag bed and stare at the ceiling. Lot could not sleep amidst the bombastic caucophony of unearthly carnal activity parading outside. A very large ape was beating a gong in time to his fornication right outside his window .
Lot barely heard the knock on the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's us, Lot!" Two familiar voices giggling.
Lot openned the door a crack to see the smiling faces of Meghan and Tiffany.
"Hey!, what brings you two here?"
"Yeah, Lot, God wanted to bring us here to show us around. He's running a little late"
"God's coming here?", squeaked Lot, and he hurriedly shuffled the two inside and slammed the door behind him. Quickly, he shut the window.
"What's that gonging sound?" Tiffany went towards the window.
"Ummm...it's Apeboy and the gongmen. Don't open the window. They're shy, but they're practicing for the choir. When's God coming?"
"He should be here in seven minutes. Why are you holding your mansheath like that?" Meghan looked down inquisitively.
"Sunburn!" Lot made a pained expression.
And then a furious pounding on the door shook the foundation of Lot's house. A rising chorus of haunting voices groaned the word "Broads. Broads", low pitched, long and guttural. Demanding.
Lot peeked outside through the keyhole and having a relatively wide sense of peripheral vision -- look, are you expecting this to make sense now? - saw a phantom sea of shuffling manwhores. Each had an empty gaze, staring coldy ahead. They ambled and lurched towards Lot's house, mansheaths in hand. Some in each others hands. All hands were mansheathed.
"Oh, sh*t", said Lot, "they can smell God's girlfriends."
And that's when the first mansheath splintered its way through the door.