I decided not to call right then because it was late. So the next day I went to a police station and said I had to confess something. I had my rights read to me, but obviously I had to waive them so I could actually confess. I didn't have a solicitor with me. I can't afford one and anyway I'm not trying to defend myself. So I told them everything, then I was put under arrest and taken into custody. I've had all my possessions taken and so on, so basically this is it. I'm just waiting to be charged now, and even then I'll still probably be in custody until I'm taken to court. I want to plead guilty so I'll get life, but they won't let me do that straight away. I don't understand why it takes days and days to do.

I think this is doing the right thing. It was wrong what I did, it was so, so wrong. But he let me be abused for years and years. He was a nice person, you could say, apart from that one slight flaw in his personality. I'm not sure how he lived with it. I know I couldn't have. But then I feel guilty about a lot of things. I suppose we were different sorts of people.

My parents aren't paying for a lawyer for me and I don't think they plan to turn up at court. that's a good thing. I don't want them involved. In fact, I don't think I want to see them ever again.

I don't know how hard prison life will be. Maybe the fact I murdered someone will scare everyone off. Maybe I could get fit while I'm in prison. People sometimes do that. I don't know much about prison though. I saw an episode of 'Bad Girls' once but that's probably not a realistic view of women's prisons.

I wonder if Andrew would visit. He's probably got enough on his plate. But I do like him. I just couldn't live with him, he was too nice to me. Niceness is the last thing I deserve now.

The End

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