Mum's eulogy was nice, I suppose. She mostly talked about his voluntary work in Africa and what a kind person he was. And she said we'd all miss him. Which was true. To be honest I've been feeling empty and confused since he died.
That was a few days ago. Most of them were nice, especially Andrew. I gathered from what someone else was saying, and he hinted at it himself, that he has a sick mother. You know, mentally. I think that's made him a very compassionate person. He's a bit like Dylan in that respect. Both kind, loyal, modest.
But that woman at the wake, she was horrible. She complained about the food and she was rude to all the guests. I think if I could have afforded an open bar she would have chosen the most expensive drinks out of spite, because that's the sort of woman she seems.
Most of the food for the buffet came out of my savings. I didn't think Mum and Dad knew I had any savings, but quite clearly they do. All of the... Never mind. The savings came from whatever tips I could make at the hotel, and then a few pounds from the till at the late night garage. I had to do it carefully, obviously. They have a security camera pointed at the till.
They said it was only right I use them to give my dead brother a good service. Wasn't it? So I did try. I got everything cheap but it only came to half what they were expecting. I had to go to the grocers and beg for something, even if it was some old carrots he'd thrown out. He took pity on me and said 'Well, here, I've got a load of celery I don't need - that's buffet food innit?' Of course I thanked him profusely. Then once I had it he said 'Well, gis a kiss then,' so I did. He converted it from cheek to mouth before I could stop him. But it was kind of him.
I don't really know who to talk to about Dylan. I'm not even sure if I should. Andrew offered me a shoulder to cry on after the service was over but I don't want to be a burden to anyone, especially someone as kind as him.
While Mum and Dad were out this morning I snuck as much food as I could into my room and crammed it down my throat as fast as I could. I'm so hungry lately, it's alarming.