Diary of a Troll Trainer - Day 9

Hello Diary! I’m back and this time I’m being clever and writing during Scorcher time! The others are all asleep of course and I’m supposed to be on guard duty right now. If you didn’t know what that means… it’s when I don’t get allowed to sleep and have to make sure none of the white skins try and attack us while we’re sleeping. They try that a lot for some reason.

Weirder than that is that when we attack them, they sleep… and it’s not like we sneak up on them like they do to us. We like our fights face to face! Not cowardly and face to back… unless it’s against a bigger enemy. If that’s the case then we need all the advantages we can get. But I’ll tell you more about orc fighting later. I don’t have much time to write because I’m on guard duty. What’s guard duty? I’ll tell you later, diary!

Luckily, I got to take the guard spot that’s on high ground. I’m a smaller orc so if I were part of any of the real patrols, I wouldn’t be much help without Princeton. He’s sleeping with all the other pups right now. He still has his bone. Funny thing about that. He almost got into a fight before going to bed because one of the other pups tried to touch his bone. He beat that pup up! And really good too! That troll pup didn’t know what hit him… or her. I can’t tell exactly. Troll girls look just like troll guys. They’re not like orcs where you can tell which one is which. If you don’t remember me telling you – orc girls are the big scary ones. They don’t like to fight, though. This is good… I wouldn’t want to be on patrol like this with she-orcs. Scary.

Anyways, I’m on guard duty now but it’s really boring. We’ve been walking further away from Mordor and I really miss home now. Its too… green out here. And its really dangerous. Forget the white skins, but out here the land is so up and down-y and full of so many animals and places where you can get hurt. Mordor is much better kept than all of this. It’s a nice plain where the only up and down parts are made by us! That way we won’t hurt ourselves on something we don’t know. I don’t know how the white skins and pointy ear people live out here. I think some of the bigger orcs said that they were savages who actually thought that shiny armor made you strong. Even I know that that is funny!

Shiny armor is good for us orcs on scout duty, too. We can see the white skins coming from a long way ahead!

Anyways, today was a normal day. More marching and looking around. Like I already told you, we need to make sure that the white skins don’t try and attack us or move into our lands. They keep doing that, you know. Make small villages that the boss orcs say will turn into giant camps with big walls and boiling oil if we don’t burn them while they’re young. I don’t know how that works but I think white skin towns grow like their trees do.

White skins are weird.

Today was good though. It was another normal march day but nothing scary happened which to me is good. I can’t say that out loud because the other orks will say that I’m a coward like the white skins. I don’t like fighting or being brave like the other orks do. Doing that usually means you have to get hurt and getting hurt is not nice for me.

It’s also good that none of the white skins have tried to build any of their growing camps. That means that there are less chances of any of them being nearby. I know it sounds un-orkish but I cannot wait until we go back to Mordor. Its safe there and I can train Princeton more there. 

That reminds me. I think Princeton likes it outside. He keeps trying to break marching formation to look at things and chew on trees. I hope he does it because he doesn’t like trees. I have to make him stop, though. If he keeps leaving marks like that, the big orks say that we’ll leave a trail for white skins to follow. If they know our marching route then another patrol might get ambushed. Also, if he didn’t stop Princeton would be eaten. I don’t want him eaten. He’s a good troll. He’s crazier than George but he’s good…

So I spent most of the marching day, trying to keep him from chewing on trees. Waving his favorite bone works a lot… When no one was looking, I’d throw it and he’s bring it back. I still don’t know what to do about this… or why he does it. I just know that he likes it a lot. I also am happy because Threg saw this but couldn’t say anything because he’s still hurt a lot from yesterday! I like it when he gets hurt!

Anyways, I think its time to hide you again. My time is almost up and I think I heard something somewhere. Princeton is asleep with the other pups, so I think I’ll find a nearby big ork to come and look around. I’m not too worried. It sounds like one of those creatures that fly around and have feathers… I don’t like things with feathers… they’re icky.

Bye Diary!

The End

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