Diary of a Troll Trainer - Day 8

It’s been a long day of walking and Princeton is starting to get cranky. He isn’t used to walking for this long. He’s still a pup and most of what he is used to is going for short walks around the camp. He’s never done this before. So, that’s why he threw a rock at this one orcses head. Luckily, the orc had a helmet and Princeton’s hands can’t hold bigger rocks. I think the orc, they said his name was Olgen, is still unconscious. I like that word. Unconscious. It’s a nice big word and one of the few big words that orcses know. I’ve started paying attention to things like that now. I’m also trying to learn bigger words because that’s what smart orcses and other things do.

I’m sure the One Giant All Seeing Tower Eye uses words that are big for every small word he uses. I think he might put them in order from small to big or big to small or maybe a pattern like big, small, big, small. I don’t know for sure, but I’m sure that him and all the other big black general types use big words to show that they’re smart. There’s only one problem. I don’t know who to learn from. Like I said, orcses don’t use big words and I don’t think any of the big black generals and other guys would like it if I asked. I’m worried about that… but I need to finish writing about today first. I think the other orcses might wonder where I went.

So the march was pretty good. Except for Princeton acting bad in between but he cheered up after I figured out a good way to calm him down. See, what the other trainers do is use whips and clubs and pointy things. That’s supposed to make the troll pup listen better and it kind of works but I don’t like doing that. I’ve seen trolls pups pull spears out of a trainer’s hands and start poking him back with it… a lot. I don’t want Princeton to do anything like that to me.  I like my body without holes in it.

I got a little scared when he became cranky though. Golomut actually broke the line to come back and tell me that we’d have a big dinner tonight if Princeton didn’t stop. I was worried then because I didn’t want Princeton dinner. He was a crazy pup but not too bad of one. Because Princeton had hit that other orc who then fell unconscious, we were forced to take a break for a little while so that the others could see if he was still alive or dinner. And this is the best part about today, book! I got a really great idea because thanks to you, I’m smarter now! Smarter than these other stupider orcses, at least!

What I did was, I took out that bone that Princeton likes to keep with him and started walking with that. I kept waving it when we started walking again and once in a while I threw it. The first time I threw it away was because the other troll trainers were looking at me funny. Princeton ran out of line and came back with the bone like he does in the cave. I think he’s good at finding bones. Or maybe just his favorite one. Anyways, it kept him quiet and he didn’t hurt anyone else. Though by the end of the march for today, a lot of the other troll pups didn’t look too happy and a few of them started to misbehave by making lots of noise. I think one of them kept saying something that sounded like the white skin word for ‘Bake’. And I thought Princeton was weird. Oh, but that’s not it! Threg’s pup finally got really mad after Threg poked him with a stick. The pup hit him with that and then pushed him back so that he fell into bigger orcs who punched him away! I tried not to laugh too loud so that the bigger orcses wouldn’t think I was making fun of them. They get mad easily and I think they always think that everybody is making fun of them.

[[Author’s Note – Interestingly enough, this description might be a very dumbed down observation of a persecution complex which would undoubtedly explain a lot about orcs, namely their haphazard dressing style and otherwise violent, rebellious nature. It would also explain why the most successful of clans seem to favor black paint on their faces.]]

It was very funny. Threg finally needed the help of one of his friend trainers to calm his troll down, but that took a little while. I need to find out his trolls name, I think. That’s night camp was set up quickly and we made sure that all the animal hides were tied properly onto  the tree branches so that the Scorcher wouldn’t hurt us when we were sleeping. Because we trainers are the smaller orcses that job was given to us. I spent a long time doing that and when I was finished there wasn’t too much food left. I think that’s why the bigger orcses told us to go set up the covering. Maybe a few of them aren’t as stupid as I thought. But its alright. I’ll think of something smart so I can get more food tomorrow morning.

That’s it though, diary. I gave Princeton whatever I could. He was busy chewing on a large fallen branch. He’s weird. I hope he will like to chew on white skins just like that when he grows up. But right now, I snuck away to a nearby bush so that I could write. I’m trying to make sure that the writing thing doesn’t make too much of that scratching noise while I write but it’s hard. I need to go now though. It’s late and I need to sleep before it starts to get dark.

Good bye Diary!

The End

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