Diary of a Troll Trainer - Day 5

Hello Diary! Today was a really good day! Everything was almost perfect… like of course there were little bits of not so good parts but they were small and far apart. So yes, a really good day! And like usual I’m going to start from the morning because that’s the order smart people write in, not like the other stupid orcses who go backwards.

Well, I woke up in the morning just before the Scorcher had come up. There were a few clouds so I could watch it try to climb the dark pointy wall mountains and then get blocked by our master’s powerful clouds! I think the word for that is… um, inspirational? I don’t know but I’m sure I heard that one somewhere. If that’s not it then, it made me feel all warm and happy inside. I like that warm fuzzy feeling inside and I got a lot of that today! Its why I said that today was a good day, right?

So, after I watched the Scorcher get blocked before it could come up properly, I went in to let Princeton out of his pen. The little guy was already up and waiting for me… he’s still lugging around that large bone of his. I think he likes chewing on it. But when I got there, he started clawing at the wall of his pen, trying to get to me. I was afraid that he was angry at first. It’s hard to tell what a troll is thinking a lot of the time. They’re not like you and me, that’s why. So I got my pointy stick and my shield and opened the pen very carefully… I was ready to run out if I had to. I didn’t want Princeton eating me for breakfast! I don’t want him eating me ever, actually. I like being alive and having all my limbs. But yeah, I let him out slowly and for a moment I thought he was going to eat me… but he didn’t! He ran upto me and picked me up and crushed me! Wait… not a killing crush type but a softer one… I don’t know what it’s called either, I’m sure the white skin’s have a word for it but it gave me that warm feeling again.

After Princeton put me down we began our training for the day. Once again, we started off mostly, in the cave but I let him go out for a while so he could see what our camp site looks like. But wait, I’ll tell you about the training first. I continued teaching Princeton how to know what his name is and when I’m calling him. It’s getting a little better now. He may be a stupid troll but he’s a smart stupid troll. He already knows what his name is. And I didn’t have to use bait on the last try before we stopped! We also worked on a few simple commands like ‘stay here’ and ‘put that bone down’. That second one is a new command, by the way… but he really needs to put that bone down. Its hard trying to teach him something when he’s always holding onto the bone or throwing it at my feet. I think he’s making fun of me when he does that. I don’t know. Like I said last time - I’m too smart to understand troll thinking.

But yes, after training, I tied him up a little and walked him around the outside of my cave so he could see the camp. It’s a nice place. Did I tell you about it? Its built to the side of this large rocky place with holes in it. Those holes are caves if you didn’t know. And it’s in these holes that we troll trainers live and outside is a large camp of big orcs who protect and guard us in case the trolls go wild. It’s a really nice place but it gets really hot out when the big Fiery Eye doesn’t cover the Scorcher. Oh, we even have this large cut in the ground! You can see the land-blood flowing below! It’s beautiful and it keeps us warm during the cold times. Yes, it’s a very nice place. A lot of orcs wish they had a earth-wound to keep them warm. But they don’t… because they’re not as important as we are! We troll trainers are small but our job is important. Everybody knows that the white skins yellow their pants when they see trolls! Which is kind of funny and weird. I mean who, pees yellow?

So yes, Princeton was very happy when he saw the camp. He tried his best to run into it actually. I think he’s very excitable. Lucky for me he’s only a pup. He comes up to my waist right now. So I can handle him a bit when he’s tied up. But in a month I won’t be able to let him out like this. Not unless he’s properly trained… if he’s not… then well, bye-bye Princeton.

[[Author’s Note – This Troll Trainer in particular stands at about 5’3 tall… excluding the unsightful hunch these imitations of Morgoth tend to be born with.]]

The best part about going out wasn’t the scenery. No, I’ve seen that way too many times now. But while I was struggling to pull Princeton back into our cave, Threg walked up one of the nearby paths on his way to his cave. He was alone. He doesn’t have the Orc parts or the brains to take his troll out of his pen. This is when things got really good! I’m certain that he was the one who had let Princeton out of his pen yesterday… because Princeton seemed to recognize Threg and changed direction suddenly towards him. I wasn’t expecting this so I lost my grip and fell… but I looked up just in time to see, Princeton doing that same warm fuzzy half a crush thing to Threg. And better – Threg’s pants wettened! I tried my best not to laugh as he screamed for help. It was perfect and I would have let Princeton continue if I wasn’t worried that some of the stupid orc guards might come and see what happened. They would hurt Princeton without thinking.

So, I got Princeton to let Threg down and when he asked what my troll was doing, I did something smart! I thought of a perfect lie on the spot! I told him that it was a new crushing move that Princeton was learning! Right now, when I think about it, it still seems like a good idea. I just need to figure out how to get Princeton to crush harder… Oh and as for Threg – He went home really quickly. And he was walking funny because of his pants! That was great! And it didn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy, but it still made me feel good! Really good! I like feeling good like this.

But yeah! That was my good day! I can’t wait to see Threg tomorrow!

The End

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