Diary of a Troll Trainer - Day 4

Ok, so today morning was a little scary. I woke up to find Princeton sniffing my foot… Actually I woke up after he had licked it. I don’t know how long he was sniffing it though… or wait… was that part of that dream I was having? I don’t remember too well, but the important thing here is that he wasn’t in his pen! Princeton isn’t supposed to come out of his pen and still there he was! Thinking about eating me… I think… I don’t know what he was thinking really. He had a big horse bone in his mouth, one of old George’s leftovers and was holding it out to me. I can’t think like a troll sadly. Their brains are too small… smaller than mine and the big orcses! And just so you know, writing book, I have a bigger brain than the bigger orcs… I don’t know about the new ones… but wait, that part doesn’t come now! Hold on, I can’t write as fast as I think… that’s a good thing, though, right? I’m thinking faster! This really /is/ helping.

Ok, I’m back now…  I thought I’d celebrate by eating my special meat! It’s actually some meat I stole from one of the big orc camps. I don’t know what it is, but I thinks… yes I think! It might be white meat. Like the real white meat… those elves. Yes, that’s what they’re called. Elves! They’re really tall though. Like not big and burly but just tall. I don’t know how they can kill orc when it looks like the wind can snap them in half… I do remember the head though. Lots of hair on it… Kind of ugly. Why does someone need so much hair? How do they get so much hair to begin with? But I’ll figure that out later. I’ll remember it… I’m sure I won’t forget! Not when I have this book!

[[ Author’s note – Obviously, this single paragraph highlights the very reason why the noble race Elves have always and will always beat the feral Orc in the field of battle… they’re just that stupid!]]

The rest of the day was pretty good… I still haven’t figured out how Princeton could get out of his pen when even George couldn’t but I think I should just be happy that I have all my body parts. I still want to know if it was one of the other troll trainers who are trying to get me killed. There aren’t a lot of us but promotion is really hard… so some of the others try and kill each other so that they get better chances of getting promoted to better jobs than just raiding support. So, yeah, that’s another thing I need to figure out. Wow, at this rate I’ll have a whole bunch of things to figure out! That might be a good thing. It will give me something to do when Princeton is sleeping.

But like I was saying, today we did a lot of training… its hard in the beginning, with a troll; harder than when he gets big enough to pick you up. But yes, this is what you have to do when trying to get a troll to understand that you are the master and it has to listen to you. Remember, trolls are stupid and dumb and can’t talk so they need a way they can understand things. You have to make it all very simple… So, I started off with gestures and making him look at me when I said the command… which is ‘look at me, Princeton.’ I usually use bait to get his attention when I say the command and if he gets really aggressive I have my stick. He’s still small now, so I can use het stick… later on, he’ll probably just take the stick and use it as a toothpick… if he’s smart enough to do that otherwise he’ll just do what my friends troll did – try and pick its nose with it… Trolls don’t know how strong they are sometimes…

But Princeton was really good. He paid attention and by the time the Scorcher was going down and the Big Fire Eye turned brighter, he half knew that the command meant look at me… though for some odd reason he kept bringing that big horse bone back to me. I don’t know what he’s thinking… I think he might have found some meat on it and liked it… He might want some more. But horse meat isn’t easy to get and only big trolls are allowed to have some. And now that I think about it… I’m not sure he completely got the command. I think he was just looking at me hoping for meat… but wait, that’s why I have bait… oh no… I’m confused! I’m turning stupid again! But I’m writing! What happened?!

Ok, I need to think… calm down… but my head hurts! Wait… there’s someone at the cave entrance.

I was right! It /was/ one of the other troll trainers! I just went out to check who was there; because I thought I heard someone walking inside… or at least swear. So yeah, I went and bumped into Threg! Um, Threg is one of the other troll trainers and he looked like he was scared to enter the cave… no one is scared to enter a troll trainer’s cave. We’re too small to do anything if we don’t like intruders... not unless our troll is out and that leaves only one option. He knew Princeton wasn’t in his pen! And look! I’m not turning stupid again after all. Anyways, I pretended like nothing big had happened In the day and he said goodbye real quick. He doesn’t know I lied! In fact, if he thinks he can be smart by making me look dead by accident, then I’m going to out think him and do um… something worse to him! He doesn’t even know I know what he did now! I’ll get him good… and Princeton is gonna help me! I suddenly feel very good, thinking about this! Yes… I’ll show Threg who the real orc is.

And now, it’s late. So, good night Diary and see you tomorrow again. Keep making me smarter!

The End

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