Diary of a Troll Trainer - Day 1

Today was our first raid on a human outpost. Our commander said that this one was to show the white skins that it wasn’t the brightest of idea’s to set up a camp so close to our borders. We had given them a warning after all. So, we cut off the head of that ugly statue they had erected in the forest and set a metal likeness of the One big fiery eye on the fallen head. What more obvious message of ‘stay away’ do these people need? Maybe they were just looking for a fight?
That is what we gave them. The commander head orc told me and Larry that this was our chance to show off the Troll’s we’d been raising since we were young… and they were young too actually. We were all babies and came out of the same big spawn pit! I think that’s why they listen to us a bit more… or maybe it’s the metal sticks we poke them with. I’ll never know.
But orders were orders and everybody knew that if you didn’t follow them you paid by becoming dinner or worse with your own food and nobody likes going to sleep hungry. So, I got George ready while Larry got his own troll ready for the raid. The camp was quite a big one after all and a mere battalion of orcs wouldn’t be enough. The white skins had horses and hidden archers too! Also, I know I should mention it but the new big orcs of white hand were said to be stronger than the rest of us but they weren’t around our territories to help out, not that our commander head orc would’ve liked that all too much. But all these complex politics are not for me. Trolling is what I do and what I do best… in fact it’s all I know apart from how best to tear a white skin apart or ask George to do it for me.
Anyways, we attacked the white skin outpost later sometime in the evening when it was dark enough not to have the Scorcher burn at me and George but not so dark that seeing was really hard; which makes me wonder about how George never bumps into things in the dark. Maybe he sees better then? That would explain why he keeps destroying the boulder next to the dummy I set up in his training pit. But getting back to the point, we attacked just as it was getting dark. We had the little orcs who weren’t trainers like me lead the attack so that they’d show us where everybody was hidden and to spring traps that would have otherwise killed our bigger orcs or me and George. The commander’s brilliant plan had been going well. George and I had rushed in soon after the humans were busy killing the smaller orcs. I love the weird way their faces twist when they see us. It makes me giggle. But I usually giggle when the others aren’t looking. If they saw me do that I’d be the next meal for sure!
So the rest of us bigger or properly employed orcs were destroying everything like we were supposed to having a good time and most importantly showing the white skins that you couldn’t just walk right up to our lands and set up a camp. But things changed soon afterwards when this one white skin who must’ve been their commander started yelling something about trees and grabbed a pike and charged at us! The white skins fought better after that. They stopped being all weakling like and tried fighting back but we kept beating them… even if a lot of us died. It didn’t matter. We needed the space anyways. Those spawn pits just wouldn’t stop throwing out orclings.
But things went bad for me. The commander white skin tree guy picked up a large spear and threw it at George while he was busy squashing another white skin with his friend’s leg. The spear hit George in the neck and he died. I watched him stumble around and then fall on this big orc who screamed like a white skin when he saw it. I felt… bad.
The raid was a success though. In the end the white skin commander tree guy ran away with the few of his friends that were left. We had a big feast that night… white meat and fresh orc meat and finally George and Larry’s troll meat made for a big feast! I think Larry was part of the second though…
I found this book while we were looking for shiny things to keep after the feast and fun making. It's also when I found the writing- mark making thing. Everybody is heading back home now and I’ll have to hide you now. I’ll get killed if someone sees me having something that the commander didn’t get or didn’t like… I don’t think he likes writing either. So I don’t want to take the chance. This was fun to do. I wish George was around for me to show him.

The End

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