I actually have time to write today, Diary! I think that this is the first time for this. That’s good! This time its good. First things for things are not good all the time… like the first time for being stabbed. Its generally good not to even have a first of those. Or eating meat that is all black and has those weird feather-y things growing on them. That’s not a good first thing to have… Actually, if you’re smart then you know that those aren’t things you want a second time either. Those are things you want never happening, actually.
But that’s not what I wanted to write about! No.
I’m still on Scorcher time guard duty but today I found a good, nice spot that’s really high. Our whole Orc force is just leaving the big hill area that is just outside of Mordor. It is not so bumpy and unkempt here but there are still lots of trees. The whole force is down by the small water we found at the bottom of the hill. Princeton is there too. Me? I’m on guard duty and I found a good spot on top of the big hill!
I’m so smart I even found a good use for these stupid trees! You won’t believe this diary, but I actually climbed one! Now, first of all, orcses aren’t supposed to leave the ground. Its unnatural. So, I was really scared when first got the idea… this is all new to me. Not being smart! I’ve always been smart. Just using it… too much.
So, when I got the idea to go climb tree because if its high, I can see from it farther like when you’re on guard tower, I got worried about going on top of the ugly thing. Other orcses told me stories not long ago about crazy trees biting back if you cut them too much. I still don’t understand why the whiteskins like them. Anyways, after a while, I decided to climb up and now I’m all the way up! Half way, actually but going any more is hard, scary and I don’t want to.
I can see far and good now. There are some pesky other trees in the way but mostly it is good and I have a nice spot with enough shade from the Scorcher. It’s still really hot up here but it is not that bad. But because its quiet and all the other orcses are sleeping and guarding, I don’t have to worry. So I can write a lot!
Oh… I remember something from yesterday. I never told you what guarding is. I think that remembering is proof of my smartness, by the way. Anyways, guarding is really important when you go out of Mordor. What you do is you take a bunch of orcses and make them stay awake when the Scorcher is being the meanest. While the rest of the horde is asleep these guard orcs make sure that no one tries to surprise attack us. Whiteskins like doing that, have I told you? So, we stay up and keep an eye out for them. Usually the biggest, meanest orcs take turns walking around the camp while smaller orcs like me have to stay in one place and wait for the patrol to walk by. If somebody takes too long or is missing, we raise the alarm and then we start fighting! But you know… I think its good to be a medium size orc. You can sleep more.
Anyways, that is what guarding is. This nights march was good. Golomut stopped us halfway when he said he found something. I couldn’t see because all the bigger orcs huddled around it and before I could get my turn Golomut yelled for everybody to spread out and look for whiteskins! We didn’t find any.
I had gone out with some bigger orcs who told me that they saw evidence of whiteskin camps. They also told me to shut up before there were any ‘accidents’ during the looking and to stop waving Princeton’s giant bone around. I did the first but the second I couldn’t. It’s the only way I can get Princeton to follow me sometimes. He’s a funny troll and I’m really hoping he’ll stop all this funniness when he grows up. Also, Princeton has gotten a little bigger after we left. I think it’s the exercise. Its making him grow!
I’m also starting to get a little worried about Threg not saying anything or trying to hurt me or Princeton yet. It means he’s planning something and if you didn’t know already, diary, when we littler orcs don’t do anything its only because we’re doing two other things – Not wanting to mess with bigger, stronger orcs or making very sneaky, tricksy plans about how to hurt someone. I’m not big and strong enough for him to be scared of me… so I know he’s planning something. I think its time I start planning something too. I don’t like him anyways and I haven’t done anything to him for all these years. Maybe its time I show him who is the better troll trainer? I don’t know… I’m sure my smartness is better than his but I’ll tell you one thing diary… and no one else knows this – I’m afraid that when we both fight next or do whatever plans we are planning, I’ll find out I’m not so smart. I don’t want to be not smart…
So I don’t know… I’m thinking about it and maybe I can do something to stop him from trying something before he does. Wait… that sounds hard. I’ll think about that too!
You know… There are lots of birds making noises when the Scorcher is out. I don’t like it and I hope that one of them doesn’t come and sit on this tree. Birds sit on trees you know. They even make ugly houses on them. I don’t like birds, still… and I don’t like all the bird noises around. I think I’ll climb down now. I’ve been making sure that the patrols don’t see you while they walk by but I think they might be getting suspicious. So I’ll go stand down before the next patrol comes by. Plus, I have to pack you up and hide you before they get here… so I’ll need time for that as well.