Where am I? What am I waiting for?
I look around, but there are no landmarks; instead I am surrounded in thick white fog.
I didn't think it would be like this. The pain is gone. My efforts were not in vain. I am simply numb. I do not float, nor do I stand. I simply wait.
Now I wonder if I made the right choice. It had seemed so obvious - not a choice at all, while I was alive. I hated life. I wanted to die.
I've forgotten the reasons now. There had been so many. Perhaps I had felt alone. I am alone now.
I hear the muffled sound of a train whistle in the distance. Somehow I know it will not come this way. I must chase it, but the fog is thick and pushes back, as if I'm swimming against the tide. I claw at the mist, fighting uselessly at the chains that hold me back.
I should be home. I should be yelling at my brother and arguing with my mom. Why did I leave them?
The fog is heavy in my lungs. It doesn't hurt; I don't cough, but I have to stop struggling.
Worthless. Ugly. Broken. Dirty. I had been so angry. So alone. So afraid. I had lost all hope. I just wanted the voices to stop. But now I hear nothing, except the faint rumble of a train that is not coming for me.
I'm crying. Grief and regret shudder through my body. A lost little girl, all I want is for my mother to come and hold me. All I want is another chance at life. But I've thrown it all away.
A shadow appears in the mist. The shifting silhouette of a man. I should back away, but for some reason, I am not afraid.
"Come, child." He says. "It is time to go home."
The mist clears, and I turn around to find the train behind me, its engine chugging slowly. The conductor stands beside the door, smiling and motioning for me to come. I turn back to the man, but he has disappeared with the mist. I leave my confusion and lonliness on the platform and board the train. I smile timidly at the other passengers and take a seat. Wherever this train goes, perhaps there I will find my second chance.