The Templympics

“Good morning and thank you for joining us in our ongoing coverage of the 2008 Templympics, live from the skyscrapers of downtown Vancouver. Let’s get things started by checking in with Francis and Robert at the qualifying round for Handwriting Decryption.”

“Thank you William. We’re here on the 20th floor of Bentall 5 with an inspiring view of the North Shore Mountains on an unusually sunny day for this part of the world.”

“Yes indeed Francis, it is quite lovely up here – even with a crippling fear of heights I can appreciate this setting. Oh, it looks like our next competitor, Mike ‘Eagle Eye’ Silva, is taking the stage now. I see he has once again chosen to wear his signature three piece teal suit with matching tie.”

“Quite a character, this Mr. Silva – he’s hoping to improve upon his bronze medal finish four years ago in New York but he’s up against some very keen competition today. And here we go – a handwritten word has been projected on the screen behind him and he has thirty seconds to decipher it!”

“My goodness, this is a nasty example of the sort of note a supervisor might leave, or perhaps it’s from a list that needs to be entered into a database. Either way, a temp’s job could depend on getting this right!”

“Eagle Eye looks to be struggling here, let’s see what he comes up with…”

“I didn’t know you could temp in a doctor’s office… um… is it… ‘secretary’?”

“I’m sorry, the correct answer is ‘urgent’ – next competitor to the stage please.”

“It’s what?! Bull-bleeeep!”

“Oh, not a very professional response at all… but kudos to Jennifer in our censorship department for those quick reflexes!”

“Yes indeed – Jennifer was actually in training to compete in these games in the Data Entry Marathon before she was sidelined by a terrible case of carpal tunnel syndrome. We’ll be pulling for your return to form Jennifer and we hope to see you in four years for the games in London.”

“But for the moment we are sending you back to William in the studio. We’ll be back later today for the medal round – join us, won’t you?”

“Thank you gentlemen. We have a special treat in store for our viewers at home – we’re now going to send you over to the underground parking lot below Bentall 1 for live coverage of…

The End

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