Billy had come down off his high, he was sitting in the bathroom, sweating and shaking. Maybe he should try that heroin, that would make he feel better. He patted his pockets looking for a cigarette, or better a joint, there was nothing there except a few skins. He felt angry, he needed something. He needed to find Frank.
Frank was sitting on the swing set in Josh's garden on the phone, Billy watched him from the gazebo waiting until he was done. Frank looked scared and kept looking around. Billy had never seen Frank this way before. Whoever he was talking to had hung up and Frank was staring straight ahead. Billy went over.
"Hey man, you ok?", he asked.
"Yeah fine", Frank replied, but his voice was weak and he was avoiding eye contact.
Billy sat down on the swing next to him.
"Listen you wouldn't happen to have anymore heroin?", he asked quietly.
Frank looked and him and grinned.
"I thought you'd never ask".
Erin stood awkwardly in front of Josh, they didn't know what to say to each other. Finally he broke the silence.
"So, how have you been?", he asked.
"Fine," Erin said, the minute she spoke she felt the alcohol kick in, of course it would happen when she went to talk to him.
Josh nodded and looked around the room. He knew she was lying, she wasn't going to tell him anything.
"Do you wanna talk?", Erin asked him, "it's a bit too loud in here though".
Josh nodded and followed Erin out to the hall.
"So...", Josh began, before he was interrupted by Fionn from school streaking down the hall and out the front door, he was being followed by almost everyone at the party who had their cameras out.
"Josh!", some guy shouted, "come and look at this!".
Josh looked at Erin apolegetically and went over to the guy. Erin stood waiting for him to come back, after 10 minutes she decided to go somewhere quiet and went upstairs. She walked along their landing, swaying slightly, looking at all the pictures on the wall, they were those cheesy family pictures, Josh with his parents and his older brother, one of his brother graduating from Oxford in England, Josh when he was a kid. Erin smiled, she loved those cheesy photographs, there were none in her house.
She found herself going into Josh's room, she felt around on the wall for the light switch
"Stupid drink", she muttered as she tripped into his room.
She shut the door quietly behind her and looked around photo's lined his walls aswell. They were all pictures of the gang. She laughed at the ones of Billy and Frank and at one of Chleo smoking 3 cigarettes at a time, she had thrown up after that. Two caught her eye, one was of her and Josh when they were 12 and stuck in a Twister battle at Billy's birthday party, the other was of her but it was recent, she was standing on a big pile of leaves in the park. Erin remembered when Josh took that picture, it was one of the happiest days of her life, she stood on top of the mound and threw the leaves in the air, the smile on her face was genuine. She was happy.
"That was a great day", Josh said behind her.
She hadn't heard him come in, she turned and smiled at him.
He stood stood at his dresser beside her and crossed his arms.
"You wanted to talk", he said.
He wasn't going to let her forget that she was the one that wanted to speak to him, maybe she was going to tell him her and Billy were finished, maybe she would beg him to be with her again. She wouldn't have to beg, he'd get back with her no problem.
"I wanted to say sorry", she said quietly, "for snapping at you that day, I shouldn't have done that, can we go back to the way we were?".
Josh stared at her, she was unbelievable, she expected him to be ok with her sleeping with Billy and him?
"Is that it?", he asked, "that's all you have to be sorry about?".
Erin looked confused.
"I thought that's why you were angry with me?".
"Are you serious?".
"Yes. I didn't do anything...".
"You didn't do anything! Erin you've been fucking Billy behind my back!", Josh exclaimed, almost laughing.
Erin looked at him open-mouthed.
"Who told you that?", she said.
"Eh, no one it's pretty obvious Erin".
"I've never even kissed Billy!", she cried, "I don't even have feelings for him why would I sleep with him!?".
"I don't know Erin, cause your a slut?", Josh snapped.
Erin's face flushed with anger. Josh immediately regretted calling her that.
"I'm sorry Erin".
"Josh, I have never, ever, looked at any other guy the way I look at you. Except maybe Andrew, but that was like when I was 16", she said waving her hand as though she was brushing the memory away, "I don't know who told you I was with Billy, but it's not true. He's like my brother".
Josh looked embarrassed and mumbled something under his breath.
"What?", Erin asked stepping closer.
"Well then he has feelings for you", Josh muttered, "he texted me the day we had that fight, and then I bumped into him in the village last week, he said that you didn't need me anymore, he told me to leave you alone, and I confronted him about you two and he didn't deny it".
Erin was speechless, her brain felt foggy, and all this information was hard enough to process without drink on her. Her best friend couldn't have feelings for her, and even at that he said he was happy about her and Josh, why would he tell him to leave her alone? She didn't know who to believe. Josh could be lying to get her back, but Billy was on those drugs, she remembered how Billy shouted at her and told her to fuck off, he didn't care about her anymore, he didn't know who he cared about.
"I don't understand Josh", she said moaned, feeling herself sway a little.
Josh stepped towards her and took her hands.
"Listen I don't care about Billy, Erin", he said, he was almost crying, "I just want to be with you. I want to care for you and I want to be the one you turn to. Please, I want to try again".
Erin looked into his eyes, he was telling the truth.
"What about that girl?", she asked.
"What girl?", Josh frowned.
"The girl from the club, that was here, you took her number, she had blonde hair...".
Josh started laughing.
"That was my cousin Lily!", he said smiling at her, "I hadn't seen her in ages, Erin girls never flirt with me, believe me. And even if they did, I'd tell them to fuck off, cause...cause I love you. And I don't care if you don't love me back, I love you.".
Erin felt stupid, she knew Josh wasn't the type of guy to use girls, she felt ridiculous for ever thinking he was with that girl too.
"I'm sorry", she mumbled.
"No more sorries Erin", Josh smiled, "will you kiss me?".
Erin wrapped her arms around his neck and chewed her lip, she was more nervous now than the first time they had kissed. He placed his hands on her waist and kissed her gently, his lips were soft, and the alcohol in Erin's system made them feel even better. She deepened the kiss, pushing herself against him, she felt his hands trail down to her bum (bum? I dunno putting arse in here felt funny), he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He lay her down on his bed carefully while kissing her. She pulled his shirt off as he kissed her neck. She felt his hands under her top. The butterflies in her stomach were back.
"Wait", she whispered.
Josh stopped and looked at her confused. She pushed him down onto his bed and shuffled to the edge, she kicked her shoes off. Josh stared at her.
"What are you doing?", he asked.
She didn't reply, she stood up and shimmied out of her jeans, she swallowed hard and pulled her top over her head, he had never seen her like this, not with the light on. Josh's eyes widened. She smiled shyly and got back on the bed. He started kissing her again, faster but with passion. Erin moaned at his touch and arched her back as he explored her body.
Chleo searched the party for Erin. Where the hell was she. Chleo hated being sober at parties, she felt like an alien. Then again, she did realise how stupid some people were when they had a couple of drinks. Her phone buzzed, she looked at it, Belfast Boy, she opened the message.
"Hey. Cn't wait 2 c u. Gt sum big nus. Giv me a cal wen u can. xx".
Chleo clicked out of the text and rang Erin's number for the 10th time.
"Where the fuck are you?", she said when the phone rang off.
This felt different to Erin , this time it felt more meaningful, they moved together, there was no urgency, just them and this moment. She wasn't even ashamed of herself, Josh didn't look twice at her scars. He had said she was beautiful, she felt beautiful, she felt completely loved. They finished together and Josh lay down on top of her. He kissed her.
"Erin, you are amazing", he said, "and you are so beautiful".
She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, which now resembled some kind of nest.
"Your hair is so messy", she giggled.
"Yours isn't so perfect either", Josh replied brushing some of it out back.
Suddenly the door swung open.
"Fucking hell!", Chleo exclaimed, "Josh your ass is hairy!".
They grabbed the blankets and pulled them over. Josh rolled off Erin who went a bright shade of red. Chleo burst out laughing.
"Eh we can explain...".
"Pfft, as if it's a suprise", Chleo said sitting at the edge of the bed.
Josh and Erin looked at each other awkwardly.
"I was hoping you would start doing each other again", Chleo said shrugging, "you are both so moany when you're not. Oh I was with you when you got that bra". She pointed at Erin's bra on the floor.
"Chleo", Josh said smiling, "could you, yknow, go away".
"Fine then", she got up and walked over to the door, "by the way Erin, I wish I had those tits".
"Chleo!", Erin exclaimed throwing at pillow at her.
Chleo stuck out her tongue and closed the door. They looked at each other and laughed.
"They are nice tits", Josh said.